A place, I thought?

[Rezen]

Beyond the promised land,
green fields, the flowers stand
tangerines, yellows, blues and greens
red and purple, dispersing seeds.
the unfaltered growing, yet succession it seems
through memories, of what they've seen
dreams and echoes, the past unkind
no plain is faltered, no cross too high
a shame I thought,with wattery eyes
rebirth of life, .. where comrades lie.
& with a breaking smile..reminising while
..I knelt beside, where I died.


what a lovely place.




yeah its national poetry day.
so i keyed a no liner up

bite me.

[HaZy]

hmmm

i was following along drifting into this happy place
the sun was shining upon my face rainbows, icecream, lil clowns with balloons
then BAMN i died

i felt like i was floating on the words
and as you intended it ended with a shock

very well written

through memories, of what they seen
only quam about this was perhaps THEY shoulda been they've to put a more continous flow into tha sentence

but i dunno it was perfect the way it was

[Pharoah.]

yeah... flow was perfect the way i read it, good topic, and abrupt ending

a lil short, but good

hit up my poem

[~ladie_streetz~]

i was honestly feeling this, though next time, a litttle more added to it would be more decent. the structure was itght, also your vocab and rhymin vocab was neat. i would have loved to see more of it but you only gave a paragraph, thatz cool though. nice job on this

[Varentao]

Quite nicely done. Darkness amid beauty and all that. Implemented with a good twist at the end. Can't see anything bad to say about it. Enter it in some poetry contest if it suits/surpasses your standards.

[Rezen]

yeah well like i said, when i feel like writing i do.

be it a long assed piece, or a short and sweet one like this.
thanks for the feed varento

[E s c]

Wow....this was dope..hmm nothing really wrong i really liked it..flow was great...well done!
this was also good because it was to short the picture the place but yu provided a link so that was well...done and it had a cool twist at the end

topically collab with me?

[*Jazzmine*]

wow, this shit was dummy short though, i enjoyed reading this shit. it was like reading some 1's daydream or wha not. vocab was aight would have been way more betta if ya had more shit to it than just what you had