represenative in red

[HaZy]

double knot ties the tye a humble sigh and kiss goodbye
out the door and through the gate he enters the world of love and hate
a yes hello and a glorious goodbye
all but subtle rain drops from the sky
a signature to sign a word said a prayer thought a busy day ahead
the office door reads rain and hail
the desk a barrier between heaven and hell
a putrid smell arises from the cup of brown
and a frail smile develops upon his lips

a working day in the life of a demon
the blood of satan a hellish blast of semon
a yes is said a body lay dead
the suite he straightens
the door a thrust to close
this is the life that society chose

[M.O.U.S.E.]

Damn u scared me with this shit... but its true.. society does it to their selves... we as people need to make better choices for our community... we cant keep killing people its wrong... its like we are dismissing God to go be with the devil.... I loved this one u got skills son....

[HaZy]

son....awww thanks...*holds sign that says FEMALE*

but thanks mouse i appreciate it very much

[pa caso]

yo dat was hot...i liked da way it flowed with ur word play, mad nice....i wanna be like u when i grow up

[~ladie_streetz~]

girl you need to work on a better structure this wanst nothing interesting to me, you should have chose a more significant topic to start with nad your vocab was aight, just need to levbel out your structure and had more feeling to the shit as well.

[ghostflow]

Everything Was Good To Tell U The Truth But U Jus Need A Litte Better Structure.

Nice Peice
7/10

[Tha Lizard]

that was mean keep spittin and ill keep readin.

[counta fit]

yo true dat yo i like it but homez n homiez take it from me thatz mean but your talkn like society iz hash
but walkn in the real world was never ment to c evil a sequel to that could just b cuffs?

2way cut n the noose suckz but your hang round soundz that worp the mind you blind itz a face less figur screamn bigga then a trigga still smilen more thingz get filen
buy more sell less n test on social behaveur changen
stagen more of thiz n more of dat but yep your right.

[HaZy]

thanks for the crit both good and bad i appreciate it and counta im not sure i understood anything you typed lol