User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 18

Thread: ..Brotherly Love..

  1. #1
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest

    ..Brotherly Love..

    JUST A LIL SOMETHIN I DID....AND NO ITS NOT ABOUT MY LIFE....I JUST USED ME AND MY BROTHERS RELATIONSHIP AND FLIPPED IT AROUND.......HERE YA GO





    brotherly love plz dont tell me that its wonderful in putrid...
    cuz how is it when u have a brother that abuses u and calls u stupid...
    bortherly hate is more like it much more complex...
    every single night contemplating whether to blow his brain or cut his neck...
    but u think hes gonna change and get better so u decide not to beam da dude...
    but shit dont change he still has hate and is embarassed to be seen with you...
    thinkin that he fucks wit u but dares not ito touch an other...
    Suck it up stay dry ...how is that when ery night u cry for a better brother...
    No hugs here just violence and real brutal brutal hitting...
    tell me this how are u 14 and help someone beat up ur 9 yr old sibbling...
    and now u wonder why they turn to sellin that work and clippin...
    I mean like the same dude who thru a brik at his brothers head now a christian...
    so dawg dont come up to me cuz i aint which u and i aint feelin shit...
    Oh..u a church man now i got one word HYPOCRITE...







    hope yall like it enjoy

  2. #2
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    upping......

  3. #3
    I feel you on this piece. The message was clear throughout the whole thing. Props on your creativity. What I think that makes this piece good, is that it's true and someone can relate to it; Maybe not on this website, but the fact that it's probably something that happens in life, you know? and even though this wasn't your experience, I believe you touched on the reality of things well. I give it a 8/10, could've been done better, but done well in this case.
    ~-=Like a mannequin orgy, you're all just a bunch of fake fucks=-~

  4. #4
    distinct
    Guest
    good subject you know almost every one can relate to that, had good imagery all the way through, used good multis with some good vocab and the end line was a good ending with a strong point to it so to me that just made the whole piece.....overall good drop keep writing Distinct - PEACE

  5. #5
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    chea thanx....when yall drop peices ill give honest responses....uppin

  6. #6
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    wordnes uppinnngggg

  7. #7
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    upping leave feed fams....

  8. #8
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    uppping fams leave feed on the real.........1

  9. #9
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    lol....my fault for all the post one after the other^^^^^^^ i thought they werent posting ...

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    94
    Battle Record
    1-2
    this piece started out pretty well. i mean the title was in good intention. Must be hard if this shits real to you. God is a powerful image, bigger then life itself. sometimes people do change because there saved, it's not hypacritical by anymeans. maybe just in you're mind, which an opinion is titled to. personally poetry thats negative should be written for yourself to get over it. inside.

    well written lines - but u think hes gonna change and get better so u decide not to beam da dude...
    but shit dont change he still has hate and is embarassed to be seen with you...

    try just loving people, everyone. instead of hating like everyone else.

  11. #11
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    nah its not me my borther is very coo wit me....we close............i jus was watchin tv and was thinkin what if my brother hated me...and shit...then i was thinkin of lines.....then i was like i gotta get dis shit on paper..lol...

  12. #12
    Newbie Floetry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    0000
    Age
    39
    Posts
    37
    It goes right along with real life that some people may be able to relate to which is cool. Keep up the work peace
    ERASED

  13. #13
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    upping

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Pharoah.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    An Elevated Plane
    Posts
    758
    Battle Record
    15-7
    this flowed well and had a good message prtrayed through and through gfood vocab and structure too

    overall nice drop

    payce
    Open Mics


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    Poetry

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....

  15. #15
    Banned ~lextownkillaz~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    in ya mama's pussy.....LEX-TOWN....representin where im from stupid mutha fucka
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,213
    Battle Record
    13-10
    nice shit fam it was a good topic and it went along with things that happen now and days with family members i give this a 9 outta 10

Similar Threads

  1. Brotherly Love
    By trajik in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: December 11th, 2011, 10:37 PM
  2. brotherly love
    By El Bambino in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: September 11th, 2006, 09:13 PM
  3. brotherly love.........
    By FLYEST NIGGA EVA in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: July 8th, 2005, 03:14 PM
  4. Walter Wall-Brotherly Love
    By Maven. in forum Short Stories
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: March 15th, 2004, 11:47 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •