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Thread: Dont Want No War!!!

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Dont Want No War!!!

    "Aimed at anyone that dont like my flow"

    Chorus

    Dont want no war
    Then dont talk no shit
    Dont Want no war
    Then dont talk no shit

    Mane, fuck yo flow, Cant step ta dis
    You dont really wanna hear dat bullet hiss
    Cus mutha fucka,I dont fuckin miss
    You dont really wanna meet my fist
    Nigga ill be rippin yo ass apart
    kickin yo ass,from da start
    be rippin out yo heart
    im shootin 38's and loadin up a hollow
    Do u think you can follow
    yall cant spit, so u must swallow
    You aint gonna live to see tommrow
    Be swimmin wit the sharks,and i still aint been stepped to
    cus ya know thers no life guard round, when da crhome wets you
    So step to me, if ya must!!!!!!
    ill take out the AK, and wipe off da dust


    Chorus

    Dont want no war
    Then dont talk no shit
    Dont Want no war
    Then dont talk no shit







    Ya, the structure is not so great, but it cant always be

  2. #2
    Banned
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    Nah, i wasnt feeling it.

    Your acting like a thug, your not.

    write something poetic.

    die

  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins
    ^^lol, poetic, dis rapbattles homie, keyword, RAP... but anyway, this was aight, i think it would have sounded better on an audio, but i know you probobly cant do audio, me either, but overall, i give this a 7/10 based on flow and originality, not that original, but i liked the chorus, catchy,... keep droppin fam...

    ~one~
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  4. #4
    JDP000109
    Guest
    It was ALRIGHT. Id give it a 5.5 or a 6 out of 10. Your bars were too short and there was nothing real in the song, you were basically just talking. Also it was 15 bars, a verse is 16 so you mustve missed a rhyme or something. Stay up and keep improving!

  5. #5
    . . . . . .
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    ummm.... ur on RB .....u aint killin any one .....u mite have a gun....well scratch that i doubt that....that was way to simple...rite something thats gone attract atetention or atleast thats gone challange ya mind and skill homie word...

    peep the links in my sig


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  6. #6
    Uncensored
    Guest
    your fow is off alot of words dont fit and your structure sucks

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