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Thread: $traight from the top

  1. #1

    $traight from the top

    Yo bitch.............. i aint got time for beginners
    I rather battle people that are actually winners
    gaining respect from the verses and words that i throw
    crows storm, surrounding me with there pimps and there hoes

    Escalades and navigators all with there shiny 22s
    rocking up to the stage, not expecting to lose
    few too many lines, not enough depth into your words
    this is your down fall, thats why your vision is all blurred

    conversations happening after the battle has commenced
    you standing with your mic, with your body all tensed
    The crowd yelling at the sound of your pathetic defeat
    look out bitch, your weak, next up for you is the streets

    Coming back for revenge after your pathetic performance
    i had the crowd rocking, but your shit silenced the audience
    just leave the stage, go home, bitch just leave this game
    look at yourself, I think that your momma would be ashamed

    let me give you some advice for the next time you battle
    the main thing you gotta do, is make the crowd rattle
    this will give you the points and victory your bitchass needs
    I’ve increased my casualties, and leave your corpse to bleed

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Give us some feedback please. It would be appreciated if ya could. Lettin me know how im going and wat i can improve on.

  4. #4
    The True Psycho of RB
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    My Own Mind
    Age
    40
    Posts
    3,164
    Battle Record
    1-0
    This was a basic verse, the punches were weak if your gonna do a boast piece like this you gotta have some killer punchlines or metaphors or the piece is pointless. Your vocab aint too bad but your gonna have to make it more complex so you can write better, descriptive imagery. The flow was weak work on your syllables this will make your rhymes sound better on audio. Decent attempt just try and think of some better punchlines.

    Return the feed:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Needs legit title.

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