do it for the kids

[kwik_trigger]

off the top of my dome.... just pissed at the way kids are raised these days

in a world with 2 much pain and 2 much hate
who can complain the way kids behave
takin the drugs to get away
all depressed-crazy-insane
but theres hope for youth today
a whole new view for youth to see
u should agree that all they need
is a whole lotta love received
parental guidance never lackin (instead)
parental silence always wrackin
domestic violence always smackin
no wonder why teens are always actin
out of rage with impulsive actions
destructive ways out of habit
smokin crack as an escape from the family

the hope isnt in the kids its in the parents
if it aint apparent im here declarin
they inherit more than hair from the pair who should be caring
so lets prepare and educate the nation
stop makin accusations start makin inspirations
start motivatin instead of medicatin
and well have a whole new generation
with a whole new destination

[kwik_trigger]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...69#post3209269
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...77#post3209277

[mcl]

really feeling this piece the flow was good in this peace keep rappin man

[CANNIBAL_CORPSE]

^^Fuck the luv^^^
Where is the pain the hate the Ring of Fire?
Where is the Death Metal?
I look around and see white kids trying to be black.

DOWN WITH RAP

[warchild]

Wasnt really feeling this piece, i can appreciate you was trying to give a positive message but what you was saying in the verses were just corny and are said all the time in raps nowadays and said a lot better.
Your vocab needs to be worked on so you can create more descriptive imagery cause in these verses the imagery was very weak. Also work on your flow cause it was way below average in the verses. Also next time you write try and come up with an original concept to write about. Then mix in some metaphors this will make your pieces more complex.

Return the feed on my om id appreciate it:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527

[The Vortex]

flows pretty well to me just seemed to pause a lil at the end of a couple lines.. internal rhyming was good...could of maybe done with a couple concrete images to feed the imagination of the reader... i think its a good enuff message to keep getting accross.. i think the end could of been rhymed out a bit different..
decent ish still

keep at it yo

[Mistral]

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