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Thread: children of the revolution

  1. #1
    Newbie
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    Apr 2005
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    columbus
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    children of the revolution

    this is the downing of a revolution, this is apocalypse ,
    we takin action steda sitn round n wachin it,
    we talkd of offerin? we brought it and we shocked the kids,
    come off of it, my generation is on top a' shit,
    gota build , from the bottom to the heavens,
    but its hell in these middle-grounds, rotting with the pesants,
    so we get FUCT UP, an we do DUM shit,
    but we hav a damn good time doin it,
    infect u wit the hot shit like we're a virus,
    we drop bombs till we show u what style is,
    we drop bills til we sho u wut wild is
    we cause rukus till we sprintin' from sirins,
    cus child this, is much bigger then ya tape deck,
    this is a checkpoint, pit stop, rain check,
    we are the builders and this is the blueprint,
    hip hop, the first step of (the movement)
    l < ---------------------__l
    V
    (the movement) shocks ya body body like electricution
    THE MOVEMENT we use this music as our retribution. > CHORUS
    we layin bricks to assist in the building of its evolution
    raise a fist. we the children of the revolution

  2. #2
    UnAuthorized
    Guest
    Yo Homie..I Like This Piece Alott..I like Your Style..You Came Clean, and Right on Point... Foreal I'm Likin Ya Style...We Oughta Collab On Sumthin, I Think Both Us Together Good Make a Real Good Piece...Keep it Up Dogg...
    Stay up..
    Peace and Love Homie

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mcl's Avatar
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    u got a good way of puttin your message across u got some tight rhymes man the first to were brill

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    this is pretty coo fosho.. the flow appeared to have a good effect.. which carries this piece...coulda been a bit longer tho, and had a coyple images of what was going on

    pretty good wordplay as well

    decent ish yo
    .................................................. ......................

  5. #5
    The True Psycho of RB
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    Instinct first thing next time you write change your font son this hurt my eyes to read it and that puts people off reading verses.
    This was a good piece but in my opinion it was way too short, next time make your concepts last longer than half a verse and a hook.
    Your concept was good you came up with some nice imagery your flow was on point but you got a bit inconsistent with it in a few of the bars.
    Your vocab was decent but try and up it so you can create some better imagery your imagery is good but your gonna want to make it better.
    Try and mix in some multies and metaphors to your pieces it will make them just a bit more complex and people will wanna read your verses more.
    Good drop but work on the things i said and i think you will be a good writer.
    Keep Writing Keep Dropping.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=235527

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