We Die

[Baby-Smile'z]

We die in freedom, we die but sometimes we dont need them, u tell me befor i die give me a kiss and plz say goodbye, put a flower in a grave next to me, to say that he meant tha world to me, to many people die from tha war that they having in IRAQ lets bring our troops back, but if i die i wanna be buried next to 2pac and let my family say she would have liked this, we die cause we try to make something better out of us, rushing to tha hospital to sometimes keep u alive, u got a wife and a husband and they find out u died how sad that must be, u got a bullet going thru ur head, i got brain damage and u sleeping next to me, i just wanna say i love how u pray, u pray to god to say to me i wish that one day it will be true but tough love be buried next to a thug, but if i die dont let me cry, im a beautiful gurl, with some beautiful features, u gave me a kiss to say how much u love me, and one day u will say i should have cryed to my man, but its to late now, we die for tha better times for tha both of us, clap ur hands when we give it up, put a flower on my bed and watch it arose away and im gon say, i should have listen to u today, its freedom we can say wat we want, we can do wat we please, but if i wanted to let u play it would be in a freaky way, cause one day i will be next to u in a grave, and all our friends will say they were tha best so they kneel to pray.. we die but we try to make it stay awake but if ur sad and ur always mad call ur mom or ur dad...

[EyeBite]

this was alright, you need to work on your laying out your peice, end the lines with the rhymes, rhymes were pretty good, kind of weak but still pretty good, i was feelin the topic it was cool to me i like ya flow, :sum places", nice drop,man , keep elevating and keep it up

[Baby-Smile'z]

i messed up on it

[Baby-Smile'z]

and im a female

[Pharoah.]

this was alright, you need to wirk on your structure rhymes were pretty good, kind of weak but still pretty good, i was feelin the topic.... flow was decent too

[Baby-Smile'z]

thnks

[Baby-Smile'z]

keep em coming

[Platnum_pic]

like the others i like the topic, current events mixed with a past that you feel close to, or that's how it seems to me.

the layout was not good, but that's a minor thing, it ain't hard to get that right once you done and seen a few, you'll get that right.

stop hatin on yo self for being female too, sisters can ryhme just as well as brothers, just look at peeps like eve, missy, foxy brown (early days, now she whack), kim, and the almighty lady of rage from the 2pac days.

keep it up though girl, you can better yourself on the next one, i know it.

peep my shit if you get chance (stress)

peace, one

plat

Partnerz In Crime

[Baby-Smile'z]

thnks

[MISTA GRIM]

nice. ur structure still needs alittle work but other than that it's cool
NICE

[Baby-Smile'z]

aightt

[mcl]

ur rhymes top all the rest ur stucture is a bit less strong but still deffently the real deal NO SHIT AT ALL keep it up

[Baby-Smile'z]

thnks