User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Dear Katrina,

  1. September 7th, 2005, 04:17 AM #1
    Vortex
    Vortex is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    155
    Battle Record
    2-2

    Dear Katrina,

    When she left-me, it upset-me. & I was torn-to-bits...
    ...never imagined for a second that it would come-to-this.
    She stormed outta-the-door, as I tried to shout-her-before...
    ...she caused anymore mayhem, but i was blocked out-or-ignored.
    She opened her mouth-to-retort, I expected a long-winded-reply...
    ...but all I got was an icy silence, a strong-cringe-n-a-sigh.
    There was no stringent-goodbye, just the SLAM of our front-foor...
    ...as I prepared myself to deal with the reprocussions once-more.
    See, the hot air gets to her. & we dont scream or shout-kid...
    ...but when me n my baby row, the whole WORLD knows about-it!

    I love you Katrina.


    - God.
    I am the rap king, that wears lots of bling,
    Im from the ghettos, of Netto.
    Its the place to be. Come down and you'll see. - Phillip Round


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Save the P.E.P talks...
    MC Pussy Eater | Ya Moms Pimp | Bruza


    Open Mics:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. September 7th, 2005, 04:18 AM #2
    Vortex
    Vortex is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    155
    Battle Record
    2-2
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229939
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229931
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229937
    I am the rap king, that wears lots of bling,
    Im from the ghettos, of Netto.
    Its the place to be. Come down and you'll see. - Phillip Round


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Save the P.E.P talks...
    MC Pussy Eater | Ya Moms Pimp | Bruza


    Open Mics:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. September 7th, 2005, 04:43 AM #3
    Legacy01
    Legacy01 is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    565
    Battle Record
    8-3
    well this is an interesting piece, and uh... i dont kno if ya really talkin about a chick, or u referring to tha hurricane...coz u seem to make it sound like both and thats an effective technique, i think u have to make this piece longer as theres a min. limit aint there? was a good piece, and dont put this " - - - - " shit to connect your words, we can see that they're mulits, but nice drop...
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. September 7th, 2005, 05:24 AM #4
    Vortex
    Vortex is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    155
    Battle Record
    2-2
    Haha, I was speaking on the girl AND the hurricane. Im glad it sounded like both, cos that’s the effect I was going for!!! Ive only just learnt what multis are, that’s why I didn’t the ---- crap, but if u think I shud drop that then I will. Thanks for the feedback.
    I am the rap king, that wears lots of bling,
    Im from the ghettos, of Netto.
    Its the place to be. Come down and you'll see. - Phillip Round


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Save the P.E.P talks...
    MC Pussy Eater | Ya Moms Pimp | Bruza


    Open Mics:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. September 7th, 2005, 05:31 AM #5
    Edicius
    Edicius is offline
    beyond dope.
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    13,191
    Battle Record
    50-27
    stop using the - - -

    not bad, but toooo short.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    - Artificial Intelligence
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. September 7th, 2005, 06:16 AM #6
    Vortex
    Vortex is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    155
    Battle Record
    2-2
    When she left me, it upset me. & I was torn to bits...
    ...never imagined for a second that it would come to this.
    She stormed outta the door, as I tried to shout her before...
    ...she caused anymore mayhem, but i was blocked out or ignored.
    She opened her mouth to retort, I expected a long-winded reply...
    ...but all I got was an icy silence, a strong cringe n a sigh.
    There was no stringent goodbye, just the SLAM of our front door...
    ...as I prepared myself to deal with the reprocussions once more.
    See, the hot air gets to her. & we dont scream or shout kid...
    ...but when me n my baby row, the whole WORLD knows about it!

    I love you Katrina.


    - God.


    Is that better?
    I am the rap king, that wears lots of bling,
    Im from the ghettos, of Netto.
    Its the place to be. Come down and you'll see. - Phillip Round


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Save the P.E.P talks...
    MC Pussy Eater | Ya Moms Pimp | Bruza


    Open Mics:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. September 7th, 2005, 07:21 AM #7
    Trema
    Trema is offline
    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Hells Palace
    Age
    39
    Posts
    1,119
    Battle Record
    2-5

    ...

    this was ayt wasn't really feeling some parts got confused a lil bit.

    The structure is what you need to work on,you got ok vocab and the rhymes were pretty good, keep it up.
    written voices makes hidden noises
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. September 7th, 2005, 07:54 AM #8
    thuganomicz
    thuganomicz is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    DC(District n Coldblood)
    Age
    35
    Posts
    479
    Battle Record
    9-5
    Confuzing.....didnt understand who or what da fuck u wuz talkin bout and structure 2 this type of shit lookz like a poem.....Poetic Scriptures homie
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. September 7th, 2005, 08:35 AM #9
    Vortex
    Vortex is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    155
    Battle Record
    2-2
    Its not that hard to figure out. Open your mind a little.
    I am the rap king, that wears lots of bling,
    Im from the ghettos, of Netto.
    Its the place to be. Come down and you'll see. - Phillip Round


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Save the P.E.P talks...
    MC Pussy Eater | Ya Moms Pimp | Bruza


    Open Mics:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. September 27th, 2005, 10:28 AM #10
    therealist
    therealist is offline
    Do You therealist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    the motherfuckin hood
    Age
    38
    Posts
    308
    Battle Record
    11-3
    i thought it was pretty tight u def mixed it between a girl and the hurricane i like u style mahn keep that shit up homie
    Im the one hit wonder
    I hit you once
    You be wondering wat the fuck hit you
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. September 27th, 2005, 10:54 AM #11
    Seedy
    Seedy is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    World
    Age
    33
    Posts
    1,579
    Battle Record
    6-12
    ^^^^^^^No he didnt, man


    You did so many errors in this is unimaginable, i feel like you could have talked about how she was similar to the hurricane

    You needed to give imagery in a piece like this, this shit wasnt near that...VERY SIMPLE, this was a great topic idea...but you messed it up!
    PM for battle
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. September 27th, 2005, 05:36 PM #12
    mcl
    mcl is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title! mcl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    asif
    Posts
    209
    Battle Record
    0-1
    the structure was a bit weak but the flow and the rhymes were good
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Katrina (I HIT HARDER THAN KATRINA, HOE) HURRICANE IN THE CLUB, DIRTY SOUTH FIYAH!!!
    By PureBread in forum The Studio
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: October 8th, 2005, 03:25 PM
  2. Katrina
    By Pair-A-Dyce in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: May 24th, 2005, 11:46 AM
  3. Yo, It's Katrina.....
    By Ack Scent in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 292
    Last Post: January 19th, 2005, 01:35 PM
  4. Katrina
    By TheFatSkinny in forum Graphic Designs
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: January 2nd, 2005, 05:20 AM
  5. dear dad/dear mom
    By LaDy TrInItY in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: July 9th, 2003, 09:42 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules