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Thread: Love by Longdistance(mista grim & baby-smilez)

  1. #1
    Mikey B
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    Unhappy Love by Longdistance(mista grim & baby-smilez)

    BABY-SMILEZ
    when i look into the mirror i see my face but when im chatting with u i think of us we make a great couple we might not be able to see eachother but we still love eachother we might get in fights sometimes but we end up loving eachother again i cant bair to speak with out my man he may not talk to me but he got other things to worry bout then talking to his gurl... so im smiling back at you....
    i wish i was near u to u make me go crazy but i love u 2 i fill tha same cause ur my angel we are meant for eachother we will always love and be with eachother cause are love is like WHOA...
    Mista Grim
    I heard that love is pain
    but those people must have been insane
    cuz i really think this is one of those cupid shots
    this love leavin me wit many thoughts
    fuck the cost i'll pay
    anything to see and hold my baby just for day
    complex feelins drown me as cupids arrow pound me
    i wasn't on the lookout but i think love found me
    and it's chainz bound me
    baby i love u more than compare even though it ain't fair
    that u can't be here or i can't compare
    we haven't even met but i'm already crazy
    like beyonce dangerously in love wit my baby :yes:

  2. #2
    Mikey B
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    there. peep the masterpiece........................

  3. #3
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    i love this its great

  4. #4
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    baby why did u leave an unhappy sign

  5. #5
    Mikey B
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    cuz i'm unhappy it has to be luv by long distance

  6. #6
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    i know babe but we can make it work

  7. #7
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    mo feedbck plz

  8. #8
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    well..............where to start...................a very common real life topic, but 2 start this off.......i will have 2 say that smilez verse was mehh, because of the excessive use of the word eachother..............................plus lines were too stretched and flow was off because of that...................same thing to mista grim.................fix ur structure man..........and try using a bigger vocab.............BOTH U................don't get down, cuz this is jus my opinion................so jus heed 2 what i'm telling u........try putting more emotion in ur peices and try 2 help the reader visualizle what there reading..............also this was more of a OM peice............not P.S,..........but all in all elevate, and try using a lil meta's and wordplay...............jus feel what your doing................keep dropping
    Artificial Intelligence

  9. #9
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    thnks rizzo, but all i care about is mista grim

  10. #10
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby-Smile'z
    thnks rizzo, but all i care about is mista grim
    wtf is going on with today's youth................how old are yall?
    Artificial Intelligence

  11. #11
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    we both 15

  12. #12
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby-Smile'z
    we both 15
    is up with that.........i hate when youngster's use the 'L' word and shyt like that u don't kno da half of it................i'm not tryna say that :stupid2: , but over the net/londistance love......................shyt make's me realize how currupt the minds of u youngins r :scared:
    Artificial Intelligence

  13. #13
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    hey we might be stupid and some shit like dat but i found someone who really cares for me unlike all my other ex boyfriends he might live in my hometown and shit i might call him and say i love him but our love will change for eachother got itgood

  14. #14
    Baby-Smile'z
    Guest
    OUR LOVE WILL NEVER CHANGE I LOVE HIM and i do know wat love means

  15. #15
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baby-Smile'z
    hey we might be stupid and some shit like dat but i found someone who really cares for me unlike all my other ex boyfriends he might live in my hometown and shit i might call him and say i love him but our love will change for eachother got itgood
    ummmmmmmmm, no i'll never get it..................ima try it...............ima go tlk to sum chick online.............tell her i love her.......blahh blahh..........then go to my real girl house and fukk her brains out..................U'll understand when u get older...................yall have fun..................this is turning into a chat thread.................no more posts 4 me
    Artificial Intelligence

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