User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Ballad of The Misconceptions

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Ballad of The Misconceptions

    Ballad of the Misconceptions


    Introducing Susy,
    "They thought they knew me"
    'least she didn't say it with an uzi.


    ____

    My opinion was miniscule, compared to the revolting emotions and ridicule,
    and I bid this school is codenamed the Unestablished House of the Cynical.
    Medical conditions? Because claims of ghost apparitions, radio transmissions;
    I said aliens were real, no one listened, Christians went to gospel renditions.
    Am I lying, me? I'm sighing, see...just because you thought I was different,
    Ridding me of my emotions..I'm now strange because my face is hidden???
    I wasn't kidding, but I supposed I know the shadows more then crazies......
    It was improbable, a question unsolvable, everything revolves around maybe.
    The rich wore their monocles; some thought others wrong, they were cool.
    Should I shun society, because the people from school made opinions null?

    \/

    Introducing Jack,
    "why do they call me a fag"
    They picked on him, white or black.


    ____

    I can't understand why those bastards go insist on calling me a little faggot...
    they thought of the things they could be, just 'cause they wear yellow jackets.
    Some were packing their bras...shaking the law and staying low from police,
    and from the things I've seen I think it's the american dream to go blame me.

    I ran for school representative...I was attentive and reviewed all the speeches,
    and I can barely understand why the most unqualified could go and beat me...
    Was it because my house had no heating, is that's all that they're all seeing???
    I believe the meaning went wrong, when God tried to mold us to serene beings.

    ____

    We were mistakes, that's what the children had said;
    hated by some, as the rest wanted us all just dead...
    We danced and pranced in a Ballad of Misconceptions,
    because beyond their eyes, they shunned our presence.

    _____

    "Hello, I'm Susy," said that one little girl shyly,
    eyes wandering over the kid who was hiding.
    "Don't try to hurt me, come on, I'm warning you,"
    Jack replied."You big kid, I'm tired of boring you!"
    "What do you mean, I just want to be your friend."
    But by these words, Jack didn't know what she meant.
    "Yes. Okay, best of friends." He replied with a grin,
    mind contemplating the motions of this jovial kid.

    _____

    The music was dreary, and the child was very weak and weary,
    the floorboards managed to support them, but very barely........
    The incadescent bulbs cast a slow glow from the dust in the air.
    There was a two-seat table, which was finally taken and shared.
    Jack's beard is but a stubble, encased in remains from a puddle;
    he saw the walls of his lonely home, happy the shadows doubled.
    He was subtle, got onto one knee and extended his hand nicely....
    "Now you know what happens when you mess with the mighty...."

    "Kid, let us in now! This is the cops!"

    His eyes were fixated on his playmate, slumped in her seat...
    occupied by the fresh scent of the decomposition of meats....
    "I know you may be deceased, but Sally, I'm just checking,
    Would you like to join me in the Ballad of the Misconceptions?

    "LET US IN!"
    Last edited by Drunken Waffle; September 25th, 2005 at 01:21 PM

  2. #2
    On all Ls.
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Age
    33
    Posts
    1,368
    Battle Record
    2-4
    Nice concept, i was really feeling this piece. The structure was good just about everywhere, and you dropped nice vocab through out the piece. You also had nice imagery, and good story telling abilities. I havent read anything else from you but i will definitly be looking for more of your Pieces.


    Keep elevating. keep dropping. keep writing.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    ^ Yes. Yes you will, lovebug Simmons.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    I will be getting links in a day, so do not close or no anal for you.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    - screams in agony. -

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    - plays the drums. - Beep beep!

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    - eats a slice of african cheese-o's. -

  8. #8
    K.T: The Assassin ~ladie_streetz~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Frm Da Nati the 513 area! Sin~city aka Riot City is where i be 513 WalnutHillz D.T.W
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,734
    Battle Record
    75-28
    Awards 75+ Wins
    your flow was good..
    i loved tyhe whole thing, you had nice vocab the wordpla was tight. everything about it was great, but you didnt have to make the words so small. keep up the good work, ya verses was hot
    THE FAMILY.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    The shit looks big to me. I'll put it on size two. Love you, dear.

  10. #10
    The Audio King .Silence.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Norfolk,Va
    Posts
    6,564
    Battle Record
    35-27
    this was a good piece from you here.You had a really good topic that went with your storyline.Also you had good Imagry and emotion in your piece cuz I could picture it in my head when I was reading your piece.Also you had a great structure and good wordplay too.Overall this was a good piece from you homie keep up the good work.

    Distinct Advantage
    MIXTAPE IS OUT NOW
    [SOUNDCLICK]8054116[/SOUNDCLICK]

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    How dare you speak to my garlic toast.

  12. #12
    NuM-WuN
    Guest
    hmm i liked this piece...the imagery was great..you incorporated your title into the piece well..vocab was there..flow was nice and on point..structure was nice..i liked how you introduced the 2 characters first and then reincorporated them into a story..you probably could've added more details into the story but that didn't affect your piece really..i'd definitely like to see more OM's from you in the future..oNE

    now leave feed on my OM:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234684

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    Ohmfg. Yes, I'll leave feed. Though I just went into LABOR.

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    I am sweaty.

Similar Threads

  1. Another Drug Ballad
    By Thrust in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: January 21st, 2008, 03:05 PM
  2. Post your funny misconceptions
    By inspire in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: May 15th, 2006, 10:55 PM
  3. Oh Word Presents: My Misconceptions
    By Moral Insight in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: September 30th, 2005, 07:20 PM
  4. Women's Misconceptions
    By Nick James... in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: September 24th, 2005, 01:34 PM
  5. Misconceptions of a Black man
    By KingKlassic in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: July 9th, 2005, 12:44 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •