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Thread: Zoo Natural

  1. September 23rd, 2005, 05:42 PM #1
    Amphion
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    Exclamation Zoo Natural

    yea...
    u wana know me dude, but youll only meet da boot
    fierce like a Lie-n, an i always speak da truth...
    n i got enuf power to alone be throwin a missle
    i can bear arms, n become a grizzly holdin a pistol...
    gotsa be lookin fly formal, so its right i act tough
    stroll in wit gangs of penguins, wit my white n black tux...
    im a crazy dude wit an attitude dats funky n rich
    always actin bananas, n chillin wit da monkeys n chimps...
    so which brat kid wana step n get whooped too
    cus my tigers n cranes, can give u series of kung fu
    givin you black eyes jus like pandas wit hitlists
    im dangerous so you always see me actin on instinct...
    cus i never second think n i lost my third mind too
    god of my own, i can see every without a birds eye view...
    chick bitches suckin my wang til they wettin dere pants
    gettin so much deep throat i made friends wit giraffes...
    sneaky deceivin an enemy n leave u kids to jus look
    u can ask a cheat-ah, how i know every trick in da book...
    steady in my gorilla stance ready to cause damage
    unleash wolverine fury n let the deadly claws ravage...
    i burn all the competition til dey sizzle n bake
    n once im done wit da job -
    i slither out wit a bunch of lizards n snakes.....



    pz.




    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234810
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234038
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  2. September 23rd, 2005, 05:48 PM #2
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    this was dope.. fresh concept.. nice wording of metas

    “n i got enuf power to alone be throwin a missle
    i can bear arms, n become a grizzly holdin a pistol...”
    -- sick bar.
    “sneaky deceivin an enemy n leave u kids to jus look
    u can ask a cheat-ah, how i know every trick in da book...”
    -- dope, way to stay on animal topic

    overall sick fam.. keep it up
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  3. September 23rd, 2005, 05:50 PM #3
    Frostbite
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    Concept waz too simple
    ur rythems were ok and so waz ur flow
    Get a better concept and up that vocab and visual and u'll be ok
    Keep droppin
    Leave feed on mine called Torture

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  4. September 24th, 2005, 11:16 AM #4
    CrazyCarl
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    Some of the ways you used the names were better than others. You had some simple ones thrown in there. I thought the giraffe line was funny. This reminded me of GZA-Animal Planet. Don't distinctly remember seeing something on the board like this. Fixing up grammar might get you some more replies.
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234963
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  5. September 24th, 2005, 11:59 AM #5
    warchild
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    I liked the flow but that was it, your vocab was too basic, your concepts were also weak. None of the punches were hard enough to raise a laugh.
    Next time you write a verse think of a good concept and try and come up with some killer punches and some deep metaphors this will help your verses stand out. But your flow is fine dont need to change that.

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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259
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  6. September 24th, 2005, 08:27 PM #6
    Amphion
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    thanks for the feed, i truly appreciate it....
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  7. September 25th, 2005, 06:51 PM #7
    Amphion
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    uppin...............
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  8. September 25th, 2005, 06:59 PM #8
    EvOLuTioN
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    Nah amphion don listen to those haters That shit was hott yo, i wish that was my piece, that was truly origional...I flowed perfect wit it. Nice imagery matching your concepts with animals. keep droppin, i'd look foward to more of your pieces.

    Good shit man
    EvOLuTioN iz fo Da BesT

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    "I'm not cocky, I'm confident
    So when you tell me I'm the best, its a compliment    "
    -JADAKISS

    I alredy read your bullshit and know your deal/
    Your raps are as true as "McDonalds" being a "healthy meal"/
    -EvOLuTioN
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  9. September 25th, 2005, 07:01 PM #9
    EvOLuTioN
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    Actually nah they arn't haters, but was this something you made to be funny, or just to flow with? If you want it to be funny then listen to Amphion
    EvOLuTioN iz fo Da BesT

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    "I'm not cocky, I'm confident
    So when you tell me I'm the best, its a compliment    "
    -JADAKISS

    I alredy read your bullshit and know your deal/
    Your raps are as true as "McDonalds" being a "healthy meal"/
    -EvOLuTioN
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  10. September 25th, 2005, 07:17 PM #10
    Amphion
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    Evolution, truly...i didnt intend it to be funny, it started out by me writing a concept that was orginal, den when i started writing from that topic.... and i guess it turned out how it is. i wont suggest the mood to my piece, it’ll be thru the reader's eyes, humorous or not.

    thanks for the feed mang, i truly appreciate it.
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  11. September 25th, 2005, 09:12 PM #11
    EvOLuTioN
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    O then its perfect, that dude was critizizing you mainly cuz he thought u tried to b funny...i didn't see u as trying to be funny, its just a hott ass piece that people should not even add anything to.
    EvOLuTioN iz fo Da BesT

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    "I'm not cocky, I'm confident
    So when you tell me I'm the best, its a compliment    "
    -JADAKISS

    I alredy read your bullshit and know your deal/
    Your raps are as true as "McDonalds" being a "healthy meal"/
    -EvOLuTioN
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  12. September 26th, 2005, 05:44 PM #12
    Amphion
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    thanks evo, uppin...........
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  13. September 27th, 2005, 06:19 PM #13
    Amphion
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    dont sleep........ ive been givin feed all the time....
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  14. September 28th, 2005, 06:47 PM #14
    Amphion
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    yea.......

    =(
    phenomenal hip-hop.

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  15. September 28th, 2005, 10:28 PM #15
    Nan
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    like them other dudes, though vocab could be better, but i liked the concept of it, some lines stood out by themselves, good job on that, flowed nicely...good drop

    we just gotta elevate some huh?

    if you ever wanna collab, get at me son.

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