Believe It

[TripZ]

this is one of my first whole tracks, it's still in early stages, but i would like to hear some feedback. thanx

VERSE 1

yo, you can't stop this shit when i spit it and bust/
imma be in mint condition when y'all are covered in rust/
i'm leavin y'all behind to stumble in the dust/
mumblin' and just, rumblin is a must/
when you find yourself in the clutch and you need to adjust/
i don't do much, i just wanna touch/
and make dat bad bitch blush, i drink like a lush/
these drugs turnin' my fuckin' brain into mush/
just hush.... and listen to what i got to say/
maybe you'll realize that your pissin' it away/
so your kissin' her today, and your dissin' her tomorrow/
hopin' that she doesn't miss what you borrowed from her dresser drawer/
they try to tell us less is more/
this rap shit what i'm destined for/
no question man, right down to the core/
it's no invention the game was here before/
but rappin's a passion, that should be fully explored
because writin' your own shit, is it's own reward

HOOK

i'm on a mission and you better believe it
i got the vision thats gonna retrieve it
laser precision and you can't concieve it
i'm comin' up and i'm gonna acheive it
x2
YEA BITCH BELIEVE IT (second time through hook)

VERSE 2

imma take you on a trip inside of my mind/
go on and take a dip, the acids fine/
you better improve your reaction time/
or mothafucka your gonna end up blind/
this time being kind just doesn't pay off/
i'm not in the mood so mothafucka lay off/
and stay off those god damn drugs/
espeically the ones that make you give people hugs/
pills with pictures of little bugs/
peer pressure tugs, from all directions/
everybody needs a buzz there's no exceptions/
but it all depends on your perceptions/
everybodies got there own conceptions/
not me, i'm all about fuckin' deception/
if i ever doubt myself i don't make corrections/
get the hell outta here with those fucked up obsessions/
your about to fade out into a recession/
i hope that i leave you with a lasting impression/
imma come through blastin' and thats my intention/
i always keep it raw like i'm makin' confessions/
always break the law like it's a selection/
i'm winnin' this shit just like an election/
and working closer and closer to hitting perfection/

HOOK

VERSE 3
thats right believe it, and i'll say it again/
no matter how you percieve it, i don't pretend/
like a painkiller i relieve till the end/
imma blend of every rapper i've ever heard/
but i defend my style with clever words/
you try to do the same but it never works/
who knows what lurks in the great beyond/
i don't wanna see you, so bitch be-gone/
you don't wanna fight you little pee-on/
and we on, the mark, firin' all cyclinders/
inspirin' the villagers, pillagers and pirates/
imma infect your brain just like a virus/
i'm still sane, but at very high risk/
i got everything to gain so i wanna be brisk/
and i ain't gonna miss with this fist/
i just wanna be the very best.....fuck the rest/

HOOK

[TripZ]

up..................

[The Vortex]

sum these rhymes seem a bit rushed or forced.. i drink like lush.. doesnt make much sense to me


flow seem pretty good tho,,,specialy in the 2nd verse...and the 3rd verse seem interesting as well


thing i dont like bout the 2nd verse is the way you rhymed it out mostly on the same word ending.. tion sion

just too much mayne conceptions reactions dimensions preventions conventions attentions corrections its just so easy to do and gets boring.. so i'd say change up some a those rhymes and fix a ryhme sceme then it b coo

stay up 1

[warchild]

This was a decent drop, i thought the hook was the strongest part of the piece. Your rhymes were pretty basic you stepped your bars up every now and then but i judge other peoples rhymes agaisnt mine and i just wasnt really feeling the piece. Some of your vocab was used well but your flow(Syllable Rhyming) was real poor, i mix loads of multies in my piece so when i read a piece with no multies i dont really feel the piece unless the imagery and wordplay was strong and in this piece it wasnt.
If you wanna improve work on your flow, think of some dope song concepts keep the vocab like it but try and create some better imagery and mix in some metaphors this will get your pieces more props.
That was advice you either take it or leave it, depends if you wanna improve or not, CHOICE IS YOURS.

Return The Feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.