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Thread: Nature and its Exotic Beauty (An SS piece)

  1. #1
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Nature and its Exotic Beauty (An SS piece)

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233707
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=233670




    Nature and its Exotic Beauty


    A shadow crouches in the blackness, at the stroke of midnight
    Beneath the sound of the wind, a breath exhaled which gives life
    A creation of human nature and its strange exotic beauty
    Artful scars carve a picture on his brain obtusely
    Fragments of memories flash in his vision, a hand, a fist
    Collides with his tender skin, a boy can’t stand for this
    Now this creature waits in the alley to display his behaviour
    A monster made of nature which dismays the creator
    He has the patience of a lizard from a volcanic age
    And yet gripped by satanic rage, I guess being manic pays
    The predator tastes the air for his next victim
    Taking orders from his instincts, the smell of sweat hits him
    There she is… the prey, looking through her handbag
    A sight to make to man mad, who’s swathed in tattered rags

    He melts away from his camouflage in a graceful dart
    Lifts her clear from the pavement, it’s a taste of art
    Her body arch’s beautifully, the cry splits the air
    He leans forwards and tastes her skin, then rips her hair
    A hand clamps across her perfect lips, another cups a breast
    She lashes out against this iron wall, pushes his chest
    Struggles for breath, she doesn’t see the glint of a lion claw
    The sharp talon of folded steel rakes in a violent draw
    Her pallor turns porcelain as blood drains from the wound
    She slumps, in a foetal pose, like she’s returned to the womb
    The animal kneels over and caresses his kill
    Regressive in his will, a slave to chasing prey… still


    This scene is mirrored endlessly through the planet’s wildlife
    Sleek killers in the night who draw blood in vile spite
    He was the product of his father’s nature, abusive and boozy
    Growing up around ugliness, so he sought exotic beauty
    Higher intelligence is lost, and seen rarely at least
    The mind suffers a scary defeat, because he’s barely a beast
    A man becomes an animal, led by instincts demanding
    When an ounce of understanding, could’ve averted this damning
    True evil is born from choice, becoming a habit of this murdering raper
    Can animal behaviour hold a candle against human nature?

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  2. #2
    K.T: The Assassin ~ladie_streetz~'s Avatar
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    great concepts johnny...
    i liked the topic of this, you used a great deal of voacb and it had a good flow and structure... this was a good drop and i loved readin it... it was kinda crazy in some ways but i liked it very fiercing piece
    THE FAMILY.

  3. #3
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Uppin this^^

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  4. #4
    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
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    ...

    nice nice homs my best line:
    He melts away from his camouflage in a graceful dart
    Lifts her clear from the pavement, it’s a taste of art


    You always release some ill shit johnny, you have came harder than this but you have made it up by creating nice vocab and good rhymes. I'm always reading your stuff coz your writing is elevating more an more everytime you drop. This was nice homie, keep it up!
    written voices makes hidden noises

  5. #5
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    ^^Kicks thread up^^ **sigh**

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  6. #6
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This shit was crazy, i was reading it because you was writing it as a metaphor i was trying to work out the concept then gradually you unfold the concept towards the end of the second verse that was crazy to me.
    I love reading your pieces cause the concepts are always different and you mix in some great wordplay and imagery it just really compliments your concepts. Obviously your flow is nice as ever so i can never hate on your verses. I just liked everyting about the piece, imagery, concept, flow, wordplay it was all nice just keep dropping your rhymes cause im a fan of em.

    Return the feed on my piece please:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234259

  7. #7
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    ^^This is the last time i'm upping this, keep looking for the new stuff which is coming soon^^

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  8. #8
    Banned MakeShyft's Avatar
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    Higher intelligence is lost, and seen rarely at least
    The mind suffers a scary defeat, because he’s barely a beast
    That wuz dope,

    Good drop. It was worth the read. Some of your lines felt forced, and akward. The concept was really good. new, and different, witch is always straight. But the story really never took off in my eyes. What your doing is circling your story plot, you need to lift it up to higher levels, and thats word.

    Good Luc with future OM's

    RTF: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234629

    Pz.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    pretty coo.. had a few nice multies...pretty good from a poetical aspect as well.. its just a bit uhm non-hip-hop tho and rather prosaic...decent vocab... a few lines get confusing and i cant be bothered to work out the meaning of em...it kind of lacked in the entertainment department....

    decent drop still

    keep at it
    .................................................. ......................

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