Its dead.

[Chrit.]

I'm sick of the basic
These words and these phrases
With placement thats flagrant
All the played shit that plagued it.
...My artform
Its comes and it goes
This urge just to flow
To know how to show
The truth grown from prose
...My passion
These thoughts just abound
Of my soul found in sound
While you clowns search around
For ways to beat to the ground
...My love
Now the game's getting funny
Letting lives die from money
Radio play meaning nothing
Its like you're running and gunning
...At hip hop
Now my artform is dead
While these heads start to spread
Cryptic thoughts to embed
These fucking thoughts in our head
...that rap is alive



Its not



You killed it.





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293565
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293162

[Chrit.]

feedback motherfuckers

[$pitacular]

this is poetry not rap

but it's decent as poetry, though a somewhat undeveloped feel to it... reminds me of someone that's new to poetry.

pz

[Baron Mynd]

Yeah, this was pretty basic in the scheme of things, but the flow was definately there and that's what held it together for me actually. I liked how you rounded it up, thought that was pretty nice, but I didnt like the whole "...my love" things you inserted every quatrain. They just seemed un-needed to me, iunno. You could of left those out and still had a pretty solid verse. I think this is the first thing Ive read from you in a while actually,

Keep it up .. :^)