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Thread: " My promise "

  1. September 18th, 2005, 11:22 AM #16
    Illus'
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    Pursuit:

    This was an ok piece. You kept an ok flow,
    you express your feelings pretty
    good. Your structure was pretty good.
    You could have added some multies it would
    have helped as well as better vocabulary.
    This piece was simple in away however I kina
    liked it, even though it was somewhat simple.
    It is weird for me to like a simple piece like this
    but keep droping so you can get better at being
    more indepth and less at being simple.
    Overall though you have potentail so don't
    stop dropping O.M's.

    Peace.
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  2. September 19th, 2005, 05:03 PM #17
    Pursuit
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    Thanx Homes..... uppin again for today

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  3. September 20th, 2005, 06:12 PM #18
    Pursuit
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    upppinh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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  4. September 20th, 2005, 06:16 PM #19
    Pharoah.
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    Pursuit:

    This was an ok piece. You kept an ok flow,
    you express your feelings pretty
    good. Your structure was pretty good.
    You could have added some multies it would
    have helped as well as better vocabulary.
    This piece was simple in away however I kina
    liked it, even though it was somewhat simple.
    It is weird for me to like a simple piece like this
    but keep droping so you can get better at being
    more indepth and less at being simple.
    Overall though you have potentail so don't
    stop dropping O.M's.

    Peace.
    __________________

    werd.........................
    i copied that cuz thats waht i wauz feeling
    Open Mics


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    Poetry

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    Last Word
    Twizteds Bodyguards


    Quotes HOF


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    Originally Posted by Vamp.
    this is perhaps the gayest thread...ALIVE....
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  5. September 20th, 2005, 09:00 PM #20
    Spul Ka Trinde
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    damn, that was deep man, like the wordplay , the attitude of the song, it was a nice piece.
    Liked how u went into detail of the world around you and whats going on in the world today had me sittin back and was like damn man, Ya got mad skills fam I enjoyed readin this piece like I said before this shyt was deep
    keep droppin hot shyut like that man, I look forward to readin another one of yours

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  6. September 21st, 2005, 07:03 PM #21
    Pursuit
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    Thanks and I'll be sure to drop more . Espicially some more R&B for the ladies . Uppin !

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  7. September 22nd, 2005, 05:37 PM #22
    Pursuit
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    upping

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  8. September 22nd, 2005, 06:01 PM #23
    *BaByShAnTe*
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    this was nice. evry serious. seemed like you were rappin from your thoughts, it was preety decent, the vocab wasnt too big, but your flow was tight had nice meanings to it and i enjoyed reading this. very nice work. interested me in many ways.
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  9. September 23rd, 2005, 04:03 PM #24
    Pursuit
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    heh what kind of ways ? lol anyways thanks home girl . upping this thread for today

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  10. September 23rd, 2005, 08:43 PM #25
    Pursuit
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    uppin !

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  11. September 23rd, 2005, 09:11 PM #26
    chaotikist
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    word bro.....the flo is sick, vocab, nice.....everything clicks...i love the chorus cuz i think it sets a whole foundation for the song...it really moves it and is easy to breathe and feel off of...talent....nice....keep it up..........
    Hip-Hop n pop locks, pop rocks n pill pops, this shit is simply vital, like crimson at a murder spot. Puzzle pieces, dead Jesus, please jus, gimme the answers, I live a life conspiracy, driven by pain and panic......

    But I'm a lyrical miracle..........


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  12. September 24th, 2005, 04:28 PM #27
    mcl
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    this was off the wall the flow and rhymes were amazing
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  13. September 25th, 2005, 08:01 AM #28
    Pursuit
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    lol thanks upping again

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  14. September 26th, 2005, 06:33 PM #29
    Pursuit
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    upping this for the year! Last feedback peoples

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