Suicidal Thoughts (collab with illest skill)

[Unwritten Finese]

[Unwritten Finese:

As i'm chillin wit my girl back at home rollin up my drow
Theres sumthin i want to tell her but it's sumthin i cant show
I love her with all my heart
..........but she thinks i only think of her as just another hoe
i should end my life and get it over with fo sho but this shit sounds familliar
i.................................... think i've heard it before
Is there nothin that i have or nuthin that i own
to make the queen of my heart come back home
but fuck the voices in my head just wont leave me alone
Wut if i did sumthin to make her cry or really make her sick
i seriously gotta find a way to end this shit quick
This Glock might help with a bullet to my head so i pulled the trigger
and blacked out so i guess i must be dead


I'm constantly having thoughts of su-i-cide
i forever try to run but theres nowhere to hide
this shits dealing a massive blow to my pride and soul
but if i end my life now will i reach my goal


-=Illest Skill=-:

Am I feeble minded or are these voices im hearing true?
I tried to say they weren't but its the hardest thing to do
They caused me misery through my life, the shit was a strife
Contemplating suicide as I look at the edge of this jagged knife
Its temptating but to kill myself I can't, its impossible
My mind wont let me do it, but in the future its plossible
I think theres a evil being inside of me, is it belieaveable?
Or is my imagination over exagerated, are they even leaveable
The cause of my actions and jail time is because of them
I wonder......Is it a guy or a girl?......Is it a she or a him?
Fuck it who cares, all I need is the knowledge to be rid of em
They torture me viscously, savagely, shit they do it repeatedly
They plee to me desperately, "Kill em, Kill em, Killem please b"
The Diabolic voices inside of me are tellin me to go on a killin spree
Convincing me that I have the mystical gift of invisibility
I follow them, takin my Ak and sprayin the fuck outta the mall
Then I strut into the highschool across the street N spray the hall
Police screamin. "Get out here no bitch!", I start to twitch
Again they scream outloud, "We wont leave you in a ditch!"
Thats when my sense hit me....................
...............I didn't have voices inside of me I'm just psychotic
Killin people to me was erotic, im fucked up, just plain sick
I have to stop myself........
And with that i found a way to stop my dumass actions
I put a gun to my head N blew my brain to multiple fractions

[Unwritten Finese]

#1 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=220434

[Unwritten Finese]

#2 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=223624

[Vicious Breed]

uppin for feed...

[Vicious Breed]

uppin for feedback......

[Vicious Breed]

commin peeps uppin for feed

[sILLable]

pretty average...i liked illest skills verse more..seemed more complex and on point...but you had a nice out take on this topic...most definately had good emotion and imagery...elevate on your complexity though..pretty dope..not too bad...keep droppin and elevatin..check out tha link in my sig titled Concrete roses or Corrupt Authority..~1~

[GhettoMike]

Illist was more complex with better delivery.. both started off weak, unfortunatly u didnt stay on topic, u swayed off and started talking about wasting people then ended with a final line that was on topic.. so i wasnt feeling that, but content wasnt bad.
unwritten finese, u had weak rhyme scheme but pretty good emotion and imagry and was on topic... but again the overall verse was weak.. but on a positive side.. i like ya name lol... anywayz stay up, yall keep practicing..
~1~

p.s Hit up a O.M in my sig?

[Fatal Words.]

uppin dis shit for feed

[Unwritten Finese]

Yo Thanx to all who gave feed back i appriciate ya honesty and ill work on the tips you guys suggested