The Preacher's Daughter

[Charlie~Manson]

The flo to this one is kinda on some mase lazy shit

'The Preachers Daughter'

{HOOK}

the preachers daughter is the freak of the week
afta a week i was up in nem sheets
-she liked the way i pleased her cause she yelled 'jesus'
plus she put the holy water all over my penis
the preachers daughter
yea she the freak of the week
afta a week i was up in nem sheets
the diamonds in my watch pleased her when i pulled my sleeve up
so she aint hesistate to strip and get on the penis

{verse}

so im like damn girl wit ya father so holy
how we gettin it in and u barely even kno me
how ya soul saved and u volunteered to throat me
got yours & split it wasnt required that u hold me
both me and my homie
...we both took a shot at that
laughed cause we smashed & we both gave u shots frm back
and u really liked the fact i rapped
the condom that is, u kno i had the magnum pack
and it aint no denyin that
the preachers daughter was 2 my dick like a pimp 2 a cadillac
and im still laughin at the fact
...u could ride my dick one day
go to church sunday and bible study monday
-yea girl u multitalented
rode the dick frm behind legs up and u balanced it
u speak in tongues when u cum & u kno i like the sound of it
however its astonishin' cause the neighborhood church
-ya father founded it

{HOOK}

i havent finished the rest so i aint no need to put up a half a verse

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...85#post2846185
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...05#post2940805

[Charlie~Manson]

holla at me wit some feedback
if its wack i wanna kno if its hot i wanna kno if its funny tell me jus holla at me

[sILLable]

you need to elevate your wordplay..your vocab...your complexity......your rhyme scheme was basic....i think you could have came up with a better topic than that..all in all you could have had a better topic than this...keepelevatin.~1`

[Charlie~Manson]

iight thx man yea the topic was simple but i was jus thinkin bout it so i wrote it but the next time i drop ima drop some of my 'deep' shit

[:.Apollo.:]

decent drop... alot of imagery that i'd only want to imagine if it were me in your shoes... but anyway
I liked the structure... it flowed together well
Vocab needs upped and that bout it

[:.Apollo.:]

peep my verse if you will in OM, its in my sig
thanks homie
1

[Charlie~Manson]

thx ima check u out in a min

[HUSTLA J]

rhymes were good...
vocab wasnt really here
i'm feelin this topic
interesting and differnet
(in a good way)
good flow, nice and smooth
strucutre could be a bit improved
not exactly perfect or anything really good
it was good and great job overall
good job and keep it up
8/10 keep droppin
peace

[Charlie~Manson]

thx man

[Vamp.]

Your really need to elevat on ur word play and vocab...ur complexity really lacked in most parts but ur rhyme scheme was decent at best...u may have been able to come up with some better vocab but u jus didnt in this OM and ur topic really lacked so try better next time..i will check out ur verse

[Charlie~Manson]

ok thx man i respect your opinion