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Thread: Behind My Painted Smile

  1. #1
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Behind My Painted Smile

    Behind My Painted Smile
    ...I Cry.

    .
    I am painted like a demon but my heart is full of laughter,
    The sainted drop of semen that the lord sporned after.
    A pastor for disaster, bleeding heavily and much faster.
    An actress possesed by a medley of puppet masters.
    The empathy of plasters, paint and such vast acts of hate.
    Masked and faked, ornately created and obsessively debated.
    Lakes of caged hatred run in streams within my shallow soul,
    Only fate breaks the matrix at the seams, where they follow to go.
    I swallow slow and dream of better scenes away from a hollow tomorrow,
    Its only this sorrow which I follow, I borrow laughter from make-up.
    My torrid forehead emblazened white since the moments I wake up.
    I am caught up in this play of such meniacal antics,
    Brought up to stay within this haze of magic tricks,
    This page of polotics my mind illudes as disillusional logics,
    Im trapped with suicidal objects and Im to afraid to escape.
    For my smile will suffer and fade and my pain will break.
    .
    .
    .

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221301
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221164
    .

  2. #2
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Dumb picture! i couldnt get it to show, id any mods could help me with this? or anyone...

    If not, please click the link before reading to understand. Feel free to nom, and Upppp

  3. #3
    sayword.
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    i felt this alot i liked the emotion put into it i also like the concept the voacb was obselete and the multies were a much needed touch you added i dident like the end of it idk maybe its just me but other then that it was uber
    Just Dope.

  4. #4
    Given Light.
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    Tried to get the photo to work, but couldn't.

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  5. #5
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    For someone who's scared of clowns this was pretty damn good! Lol. Poetry man, pure poetry. What can i say which i haven't already said about your work?

    Topic- dope
    Multi's- dope and getting doper
    Flow- on point thorughout
    Imagery- dope, occasionally out-fucking-standing
    Vocab- just at the right level

    all in all, im glad were on the same team! Steller work amigo. Keep repping us right!

    Def Poets- We OWN open mic

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  6. #6
    Hellavated
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    wow that was pretty good

    Only fate breaks the matrix at the seams, where they follow to go.
    ^killer line there

    not my faveroite frum u, but even if u gave a half ass effort u prolly still could beat the shit outta ne of the niggaz on the site... i liked the flow on this 1, especailly that line^ the rhymes were a lil bit weaker than usual frum u but still pretty strong, the topic was pretty good, the title suited it perfectly, vocab was insane like usual, structure was awesome, i dont kno wut it was about this 1 that i didnt like, but i noticed that it wasnt ur strongest and that it didnt seem 2 stand out as much as ur other ones, maybe it was just tha topic and the meaning behind it i dont kno, i dont really kno wut it was that wasnt as appealing as ur other pieces... still it was still very well put 2gether like usual, so keep it up issue...

    and u kno how i love 2 read ur shit so make it longer! haha keep it ez homie....
    I.J.L Reppin
    Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew

  7. #7
    Hellavated
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    return the favor homie, ya that's right! i actually did another OM, the 1st one in like half a year but w/e

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221957

    thanx man
    I.J.L Reppin
    Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew

  8. #8
    Punch_Line_King
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    damn...i was feelin this mos def. emotion was tight i could c where u was comin and from and all dat...nice drop homie

  9. #9
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Did you people actually click the link? Thank you if you did,

    Upppp'n this...

  10. #10
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    imagery was dope....vocab was dope..delievery was there...your wordplay and complexity were ill...this piece was very dope...quite descriptive...your rhyme scheme fell off just a little bit a couple of times..other than that this piece was ill..keep elevatin and droppin.~1~


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  11. #11
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    I got told to elevate! yay!

    Uppppp

  12. #12
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    Issue my man this was very nice.Stealing pictures from Rhetorical Insights eh?
    You are improving a lot.Already dope,in no time you're gonna be more than dope.
    Anyway your rhymeschemes get better and better,and your flow is very nice.I liked the imagery,some nice metaphors there and nice vocabulary.I thought you captured the picture pretty well.Hope this gets in Rethorical Insights "HoF" or whatever they have there.Peace.
    Def Poets Society

  13. #13
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    I'm drunk as a mothafuka and this is the second time i posted in the wrong thread.Sorry Issue.
    Def Poets Society

  14. #14
    SunSpit
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    Very ill drop right here. Everything was on point man. Vocab, imagery was crazy, nice rhyme scheme, good wordplay. All in all very dope piece man. Keep droppin em. 1

  15. #15
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    lol @ K9, keep them drinks flowing man.



    thanks to sunspit, uppp

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