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Thread: White Walls

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    White Walls

    Sometime I wish there was a rewind button so I can change all of my shit that happen to me so bad in my life,

    But I can’t cause NOW! Its fucking me up in my life I always wanted to kill myself in a suicide,

    Like slitting my throat dyin in my coated blood makin it flood into my mothers rooms just to let her know that I was dead lyin next bed,

    Just look at this way standin around being surrounded by white walls I felt I was gonna fall, also failing everything that I had,

    That’s why my life is so bad its making me mad, also so I had some trouble to get girl for her to be my lover, this pass valentines I was an ass,

    But that had gone passed like a race car drivin so fast,

    But ain’t eva lookin back over my shoulder, if I did I’d be hit wit a boulder,

    Now I remember going to the Frederick Hospital to get a MRI test cause I was really sick cause I thought I was gonna die but i pray to god hard as shit,

    I was saved that day, so grandpa look at me now I’m getting so tall,

    But just remember this saying I was in A WHITE ROOM WIT WALLS/
    R.I.P - Paul T Sullivan 1922-1997 Rip Robert J. Lehr “Superman’’ 1987-2005
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  2. #2
    Apostle OS
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    this shit better than your other shit, honestly bro I can tell you think, you know what the problem is though, your spellin and grammer, maybe you jus write the shit too fast, but it's all jumbled up and most the sentences arent even full like theyre missin words, go over your shit before you post it, your shit aint bad, jus your english

  3. #3
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    thanks mane
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  4. #4
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    example . . . "let her know that I was dead lyin next bed," . . . what the fuck that mean . . . "let her know that I was dead lyin in the next bed" . . . see what I mean, not on hate, jus fix taht so people can understand but your shit aint bad

  5. #5
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    no problem, we'll do a collab, you got good content, if you need help jus ask, keep up the writin though

  6. #6
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    come on peoples
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  7. #7
    yeah is good it has real good emotion and everything.. just go over it and check everything before you post itbut overall good just flow a little better and you will be good foreal
    keep it up
    Last edited by Problem Child jf; August 12th, 2005 at 01:52 PM

  8. #8
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    come on
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  9. #9
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    this is better tha nthe previous shit ive read from you....you need to elevate still...your structure is fuckin horrible..its just all over tha place..which in turn fucks up your rhyme scheme...you need to elevate..and really fix your structure....your bars are way too stretched...keep elevatin..check out tha piece in my sig titled God has a Gun


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  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Awards 150+ Wins FL Tournament Winner PC HOF FL Champion
    Weak

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    show me love
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Tf I Aint Gay

  13. #13
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    i didn't say your gay
    Lil Drew "The Prequel"

    Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
    None but ourselves can free our minds.
    - Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

  14. #14
    sayword.
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    it was good i favor it too some of the other stuff ive been reading it wasent grat my desent it shows emotion but its hard to belive as far as your skill goes im not so sure of it but its expressing emotions keep it up youll get better
    Just Dope.

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