When will it end

[Ruffneck Soulja]

I will not poision the minds of the youth but I'll give truth/ no need to be ruthless so I'll be ruth/ no uncouth but couth/ rising up as a people for our youth/ they need guidance and a healthy upbringing/ they need humbling and not the bling blinging/ they need to be singing about the good things in life/ not out gang banging losing their lives/ using their knives thinking that causing hurt will cover their pain/ this is insane, they're using their lives in vain/ when will it end, when can our mothers rest their worries/ when the bullets stop falling in a blood ridden flurry! :word:

[:.Apollo.:]

decent drop.... i guess
try to up the vocab and do more on ya structure...
like don't do it in paragraph, do it line on top of line

[sILLable]

wasnt feelin this...you shouldnt repeat rhyming words...its too basic...your rhyme scheme wsa too basic...your structure is fucked up...which fucked up your flow...dont put it down like a pragraph...one bar on top of tha next bar...like that....dont add slashes to the end of your lines either...if your shits structured right..your wont need anything to seperate one line from the next...keep elevatin and droppin..and would you hit up the link in my sig titled When the Sky Falls...idd appreciate it.~1~