The Poisoned Tree

[Judge Judy]

The Poisoned Tree

a giving tree was absent, shriveled in defeat
dead leaves and broken branches withered in mistreat
a wicked state of rotten apples and diseased grapes...
causes this lumber of peace to release an infectious trait
colorful leaves now dull, afloat the stolen sky...
a growth of rancid whine, caused by a swollen vine
at a devils level, Hell has poisoned this tree...
full of grace, now erased from heaven's destiny
angels would pick fruit, tragic for a twisted root
heaven's skies clouded red, which assisted to pollute
Jesus walks in blue lips; his holy air is taken...
hell has dominated, making this scare awaken
the angels fallen and crashed, feeling the empty wrath
heavens collapse is now a feared warning path...
Jesus on kneeling knees, begging thy evil please
the only needs is the return of the peaceful giving tree
a heartless Satan reins the power, controlling heavens place
the reduction of oxygen would rain pain on the human race
a tree stands no more, lying with ashes on ground
holy spirits die down, with fright that passes around
a bloodshed tear from God's son, a goodbye to existence
a final cry to his children, fallen from Satans persistence
the living atheist’s won, killing humans and holy ones
with zero regards for heart beats and a stolen sun...
the heaven's soul carcasses, this holy land is gone
only breathing is hells apostles, devils phenomenon
life as they knew is erased, and hatred is raised
the death of evil ones breathes, and are highly praised
a masquerade for the evil, the Jesus they faced with
the holy bible now burning, yet containing the sacred
.
.
.
The blast of the roaring sky opens Jesus’ eyes
To realize this frenzy was a nightmare and a twisted lie
Sweat falls from his pores, ponders on the evil image
Seeing the tree of heaven, now such a granted privilege
The apples crisp and red, the branches strong as steel
Angels slept with grace, the dream gaze wrong and unreal
.
.
.
Peace on heaven is kept, no evil invasion to be…
And with a setting so calm, Jesus sleeps under the tree

-DeNiILL

Link #1
Link #2

[MKs]

Being a christian and all that like stuff that has to do with peace, and this was a good story with a good ending. The vocab was A+. and the flow matched it pefectly. The imagery was boosted because of the picture so i really saw the story in my head. Good drop homie.

please return the favor to- http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=219527 so i can get better at topicals.

[Judge Judy]

Uppin' for feed.

[Daz]

the beginning caught me from the moment i read.
Or maybe it was the picture.
But it was def. obvious that you put a lot of work in this.
Great imagery, great storyline and great multis.
Overallnthis was a perfect read.

'Specially like this part.

the living atheist’s won, killing humans and holy ones
with zero regards for heart beats and a stolen sun...

[Judge Judy]

Thanks Daz

[Daz]

one link.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post2908966

[Marvman]

this piece was nice. good topic.

it was full of emotions, a lot of imagery i might add. it's a nightmare that eventually finds the peace in the end.

the living atheist’s won, killing humans and holy ones
with zero regards for heart beats and a stolen sun...
^dope shit.

very nice story line. rhyme scheme was good. overall 9/10

life as they knew is erased, and hatred is raised
the death of evil ones breathes, and are highly praised
a masquerade for the evil, the Jesus they faced with
the holy bible now burning, yet containing the sacred


The blast of the roaring sky opens Jesus’ eyes
To realize this frenzy was a nightmare and a twisted lie
Sweat falls from his pores, ponders on the evil image
Seeing the tree of heaven, now such a granted privilege
The apples crisp and red, the branches strong as steel
Angels slept with grace, the dream gaze wrong and unreal
.
.
.
Peace on heaven is kept, no evil invasion to be…
And with a setting so calm, Jesus sleeps under the tree



pz.

[Judge Judy]

THanks

Upp...

[Judge Judy]

uhh upp ?

[2bad]

yet again, good vocab, imagery and structure
2BAD aint 1 4 all that bible bashin happy clappin, yet i can still appreciate this piece
job well done

[Judge Judy]

^?

wtf

rofl

Up..

[Judge Judy]

uppp

[Judge Judy]

thanks for all the replies though

Upppppp again...

[Acey]

i already like the bible story this originates from & i share the same opinion on this.
the topic is first rate, although it do falls in a run of reglious pieces lately.
But this stands out.
also i want to bring out the picture, it has alot of meaning and actually does give an extra edge to the piece..brings out the imagery even more.
thats as far as the topic goes, on with the writing.. almost beyond compare, flawless.
The scheme is good & the content actually fits, sometimes you read a piece which leaves the feeling the lines have to be longer, these lines where compact & all carry meaning.
i also like the words you chose, alot of the words you picked out could've been so many other words, but i felt you picked just the right ones,
made for a few exceptional lines.

angels would pick fruit, tragic for a twisted root
heaven's skies clouded red, which assisted to pollute

it flows nicely & portrays a strong image, i actually see the sky change color.
Also the color red goes hand in hand with pollution..the way i read it.
the bar daz highlighted is also of my favorites.
The way you ended it all was surprising & i liked it, it went from better to worse..then back to the beginning.
And although this piece was considerably short it had the right amount of impact to leave an impression near perfection.

[XxPHATExX]

Was feelin' this piece big time bro. Serious imagery. I didn't think the tree looked poisoned tho ... I nominate this to