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Thread: SLEEP pt1

  1. #1
    BIOHASARD
    Guest

    SLEEP pt1

    There’s demons within the ink in my pen reeking of sin.
    I’m cheating to live but it’s deeper then this “believe in him” shit.
    I believe in him! Shit! But I’ve sold the pinkest of slips.
    To be really sick like my penis was in the sleaziest bitch.
    With the greasiest tits, and my semen can spit freely in it.
    Can’t keep me from kids, Like M…J teaching sixth grade.
    Cutting young’ns like Pastor Troy with a switchblade.
    To me ya’ll is Bitchmade, Had your moms lips ache.
    In her mouth my kids played, now she can spit game.
    Damn I’m sick Mayyne! I’m coughing like a corpse in it.
    Then I wake up healthy, Wack as fuck in an orphanage.
    It was all a dream, Fell asleep reading Word up magazine.
    My boys Biggie and Pac over there on they mattress sleep….

  2. #2
    Newbie Rorshak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    The Field of Bones
    Age
    35
    Posts
    35
    I'm not feeling this. For one thing it has less than the number of minimum lines allowed by the rules.

    "I'm coughing like a corpse in it". What does that mean? I don't really know about the flow and structure either.

    Keep working though.

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  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    9,422
    Battle Record
    34-2
    one om a day yo

    closed.

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