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Thread: 26th street(be ricky)

  1. #1
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    26th street(be ricky)

    chapter 1
    never lie about a story its identity theft/
    and when a rich guy raps, its disgusting cause we tasted poverty in our breath/
    It wasn't quit like the projects, but people still ended up with broken dreams/
    and the tale is about an author who had his own theme
    ricky evans was a busy writer that lived on 26th street/
    went to school everyday, and had a mother that loved him/
    but his father was a fiend and did nothing but touch him/
    Ricky Evans, ran away from his mother and home/
    and when he came back his mother was crying on the phone/
    he could hear the other man on the line clearly, screaming bitch leave me alone/
    Ricky asked what happened, "its your father he left"
    Ricky Screaming," I dont give a fuck i hope he dies a bloody death"/
    his mom was shocked, wasnt think right when she told him to exit/
    he was only 16, and we wouldve never expect it/
    the cops put him up for adoption, but he left when he was restless/
    No one felt his pain, and he wrote his life story/
    he got a rejection letter in the mail replying his writing is boring/

    chapter 2
    Ricky was strong, so he didnt let it destroy his mentality/
    but he was missin the woman who gave him birth in reality/
    he was a loose cannon, adn got suspended from the academy/
    his positivity was decreasing, he used to say nothing could rattle me/
    but now it seems like the whole world wants to battle me/
    picture you deprived and have nothing and no one accepted ur talent/
    he literally had no one and finally he couldnt stand it/
    he ran back home, but he was weak he nearly famished/
    then he knocked on the door, the answer was sparse/
    he started to get dizzy, and pretty soon it was dark/
    it was really strange cause the car was still parked/
    he got anxious so he went through the entrance/
    he saw the last thing we would have ever expected/
    on the floor his mother was left dead/
    slash marks on her wrist and her eyes were rolled back in her head/
    and underneath the table was a note explaining her death/
    Dear ricky, i knew you would come back, i hope my death is on your conscience/
    the way you talked to me was complete non-sense/
    and the way u talked to ur father was obnoxious/
    why ricky why, why didnt u just stop it/
    I hate you ricky, its your fault your father is gone/
    im disowning you richard , i was never your mom/
    ricky couldnt believe this guilt trip/
    It was written in blood, and his mother's essence started to drip/
    it was a stain on his mind that would never die/
    pretty soon he fell down and started to cry/
    chapter 3
    it was reality and he had no peers/
    just a nightmare, livin his life in fear/
    and his father used to beat him for years/
    He quit school , had no friends and no soul/
    he forgot who he was, and his life had no role/
    tons of alcohol was a must, went down to the last bottle/
    jumped into his car and went full throttle/
    got out of the car, and hopped out onto the bridge/
    he started to scream, god whatd u do to my conscience??
    why cant u let me live!/
    5-0 was behind him, and they arrested souless rick/
    a suicide attempt, a problem he couldnt fix/
    his mom death on his mind, it haunted him and he just flipped/
    he got served one year for assault on the officer/
    and he tried to overcome the obstacle/
    Richard Evans, put out the complete version/
    a tale of his life, but his spirit was hurtin/
    and thought about jail and how that heartless officer served him/
    teh book hit stores, and people left with tears in their eyes/
    a story of a souless kid, just trying to survive/
    and soon his popularity started to rise/
    retired a fucking legend, but no one could ever feel the rel pain he has inside/
    alll the money was pourin in and yeah hes gettin paid/
    it surprised himself, about the effect his moms death made/
    his dad kept in touch cause now he was famous/
    Rick remembered the times when his dad used to choke him til he'd pass out/
    and used to take a hammer and slam every one of his teeth outta his mouth/

    chapter 4
    rick decided to give his father another chance/
    and he looked for him but didnt recognize until a second glance/
    as they walked backstage and talked about tales from the past/
    Then ricky got depressed and broke down and cried/
    "whats wrong son" you used to beat me, nnow like it never happened
    how can u say ur a good guy/
    "son i didnt mean it" fuck you dad,u left me broke i had physically and emotional pain/
    And you got me into dope, cause i saw u sniffin cocain/
    and ur repsonsible for my mothers death, i saw her slain/
    lettin you come here i was completely insane/
    I loved my mom how could u let her die/
    and then ricky loaded a pistol and loaded it in 1 try/
    and he shot his dad and looked him right in the eyes/
    his dad started to smile as he slowly died/
    Souless Rick collapsed he felt so deprived/
    and then broke out in tears and started to cry/
    cause he shot the man that brought him alive/
    and then at that point he wished his life could rewind/
    presence dont wait for anyone, so he was stuck in the time/
    put yourself in that feeling, its hard to explain in just rhymes/
    No human can go through that and actually breath/
    So i feel pain everytime i pass by 26th street/
    Ricky took the pistol and put it down his throat/
    and pulled the trigger back, and became nothing but a ghost/
    GOD DAMN!

    By xtrordinair AKA RULES OF HARRY POTTER
    Having
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  2. #2
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    Having
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    Preaching
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  3. #3
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    come on dog get at me
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  4. #4
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    uppin y'all need some feedback for this piece if ur lazy then only read the last 2 chapters but its a story and it all flows u should like this piece
    Having
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    Preaching
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  5. #5
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    come on y'all
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  6. #6
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    uppin for the 3rd time need feedback
    Having
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  7. #7
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    That wuz tight i liked that shit
    very nce words were well used
    not overused vocab and structure and flow wuz good
    man keep up the good work

    like block busta59 said "Keep on writtin"

  8. #8
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    thanks man i aprreciate the feedback if u got an OM ill check ur shit out. 1`
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  9. #9
    Alize59
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    Yo i really like diz piece itz a good thing i read it. Visual said it was tight and itz a good thing dat person said it. I aint feel like it at first but from juss readin da first chapter it caught my attention. Nice flow,multi's, and everything else i can mention. Nice story of how diz kid wanted fame and 2 get it he had 2 keep on fightin. I liked diz piece, i wanna read more so keep on writin.1

  10. #10
    has left h0mIcIde's Avatar
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    Uh, that was wack as hell, all the other people who commented have no idea what they're talkin about, structure was allright had no wordplay, creativity, lacked a original concept and was followed by bad flow.

  11. #11
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    well obviously no one knows what there talkin about still....your structure was not tight...it was off...your bars were stretched...and in some places they were too short....your vocab is elementary...your rhyme scheme was fucked by your structure.....you need some vision....and some consistency and complexity...up your wordplay..all in all needs elevation..~1~


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  12. #12
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    stop hating, its a messaage not to be the tightest rapper. its a story. its supposed to tell a broken house in straight de-tail. thanks to y'all who know what the fuck there talking aobut and not hate all the fucking time.
    diverse syndicate, i saw ur shit, and i thought it was pretty whack too. so you know what, improve ur own style before running up on mine.
    peace
    Having
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by h0mIcIde
    Uh, that was wack as hell, all the other people who commented have no idea what they're talkin about, structure was allright had no wordplay, creativity, lacked a original concept and was followed by bad flow.
    haha ur whack as fuck.
    Having
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    Preaching
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