Envy

[<(UnDiSpUtEd)>]

well this is just how i feel some times so peep it.....

Envy-

I envy a simple life, no struggles, one with such low
Expectations and everyone knows where you'll go
no hesitation, I envy those who are able to be bad
at sports, and even fail The easiest math Class
I don't envy a nerd life, just one with less Comp-
etition, force fead rules and how to live by your mom,

I envy the soul who grows in the forest of real,
Friends, Not just there till AFTER you feed them a meal
I envy the life of some one whos definition IS
a noone, But deep inside a celebrated artist
I envy the mediokre, the ones thought less
of, by their peers, their hearts are the best

I envy the educated, the ones who know their
roots, and the struggles ancestors took to get where
they are now, the children care free living
the simple life, i almost envy those in prison
Atleast if i was their i would envy something like
freedom, what i do know, i would envy the fight

that i have each day, i envy wishful thinking,
I even envy those who cannot stop drinking
I envy those with lost souls atleast it limits
the hassle, of a highlight life, i know cuz im in it
I envy every human being on this earth can u not see?
I am a psychopathic maggot, 180 lbs of envy

For those who feal like i do, similarities in our life
those who live with bad families, that want to grab the knife
Out of your kitchen kill everyone that you know
For the ones in tough households with nowhere to go
All your parents due is push you, we are not robots you see
After reading my passage, i hope noone ever envies me


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...69#post2800269

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...13#post2800313

[flavin]

yo i thought this was a pretty tight piece. it was really good and i liked it ima heve to give it an 8/10 it kidda been just a little better, idk what was wrong wit it somethin was just missin for me. vote on my battle. but good job.

[distinct]

seemed like more of a poetry piece in some points but overall it was alright had alright imagery and some alright multis vocab was decent but it wasnt the greatest but the subject was good and i understood were you were coming from so thats what made me really like this piece 8.3/10

[rile1]

this is ill man lots of emotion good vocab..flow was a lil weird here and there but great stuff man Ill give it a 9/10....actually ill nominate this its good man..leave feedback on mine

[The NerveCalmer]

I liked this peice, you used the word envy alot so we actually got the point why it was called that, your vocab was a little on the elementary, and the couplets that went like :I don't envy a nerd life, just one with less Comp-
etition, force fead rules and how to live by your mom,

I was not feeling those like that ^^^^^... because when u read it, it does not make sense.... other than that 7.5/10 levae feed on "No Time To Waste"

[<(UnDiSpUtEd)>]

thnx for the feedback.........uppin for more...........

[Macanatix757]

Nice job sorta lost me in the first paragraph but the second verse brought me around it really got me thinking i liked the imagery paragraph three got deep on me i liked it i can relate to that i spent 5 years in jail and from the moment in all you want to do is get out the fourth paragraph not soo much really wasen't feelin that one you sorta came back to the surface on me paragrpah five well that was a nice way to close it off but i think you coulda done better over all i give it a 7.7/10 nice job keep it up

[Demon Blaze]

your piece was tight,it had good flow,nice multies in them the subject you wrote which is about your life was cool,i like that you had a decent flow goin on in your piece.also i like that you kept connection to your topic,meaning you stayed on point.i'll give your piece a 8.5/10

[.Symbol.]

it was iight good concept, nice flow structure was perfect you should you's use the center code...you should get more metaphors and more similes in it to make it better imagery was ok it was an ok overall good topical what amazed me was for your 4th Topical you elevated alot good job and keep at it....

[<(UnDiSpUtEd)>]

^^thanx for feed evryone......uppin for eve more

[Nostradomus.]

yo undisputed it seems as if u gettin better and better up in here, loved ur verse dog. u showed alot of emotion through and.....*whipes tear*......and i think u should keep doin this OM shit dogg..........good luck on more topicals too.....good peice

[D.V.R.a.k.a.M.C.]

Hmm......*thinks*

This was a nice little piece. You had a good vocab, and a good structure. I enjoyed reading the first paragrapg the most tho. It an't much I can say about this, it was really good. Overall 9/10 keep up the good work.