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Thread: Monster:Undispited feat.Incin and Illiterate emcee

  1. #1
    2+2=4 <(UnDiSpUtEd)>'s Avatar
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    Monster:Undispited feat.Incin and Illiterate emcee

    Darkred=Undisputed
    Navy=Incineratedrose
    White=Illiterateemcee

    sick existence, it only lives to cause you harm ur not safe at any distance
    with much persistance, will track you down without any assistance
    everyones fate is all the same, this thing's goal is to cause death
    never too early n never too late, will strike when ready draw ur last breath
    it has no rival, nothing can stop it from unleashing itself on anyone
    no chance of survival, unimaginable powers that cannot be outdone
    time has no relevance to this creature, will go about business at any time
    unearthly sized its best feature, thinks what it does is an art, sublime
    the way it proceeds with its acts of sin, it wont ever have repent
    the mighty evil of its within, causing pain and mighty torment
    without a sense of love or feelings it wont stop to think
    so hence its evil, and will leave you out cold in a blink
    taking innocent lives is a formailty, being merciful is not a possiblity
    i hear u say what can this thing be, i can gladly tell you, its Me..

    In the middle of "nowhere" his name became a legend..
    ..he fed on fear in the midst of killing all the peasents
    Legend says he was a beast 10 times more ferocious then the lochness
    God and the Devil could not defeat him, His power cannot be processed
    Heaven and hell corrupted, Forced out of Their life they made him a land of his own
    Gave him a third of the power and the rights to take anyone home
    In fear they made a deal with him, Yes God and The Devil together
    They said he could take all of the people, places and destroy all the treasure
    He would have to spare the 2 of them, allow them to have heaven and hell
    People say "Legend" because no-one believes God or the Devil could fail
    After 1000 years of pain and anguish, The day had finally come
    The Devil said he would answer to no man, Which would explain why he runs
    The creature decided to agree, his own world he could rule it his own way
    Doesn't play, his powers unmatched, his equal, i cannot say
    Is all of this true? who knows i didn't make up the story..
    ..Would kill every human in the world, but hey you bitches bore me

    I'm guarding, the awning and the world is calling,
    My name to come and play with the children today… falling,
    Down I'm chasing the kids with a knife at my wrist,
    Razor just slipped and cut up my fist…
    Anger rising I'm realizing, my time is now!
    I can feel my hands clinch together, piercing the sound,
    Of silence, fuck peace I'm obsessed with death and violence,
    Screw parental emotions, tomorrow they'll wake up… childless.
    My puzzle shapes fall into an abstract masterpiece,
    I want to kill these kids with everything I am, I bleed,
    My heart and soul, I'm a monster worse that god, I will be forever,
    Because I take child's lives, and give them shit, the opposite of heaven.
    I'm not your average person, I'm not what you want, not the same ol'…
    Person you meet on the streets, I was born from fire… believe me,
    …I'm the real, hell's angel.



    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post2800071

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...91#post2800091
    Last edited by <(UnDiSpUtEd)>; July 21st, 2005 at 05:23 PM

  2. #2
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    First link is broken; second is the same link you used for your other thread. You need two new, fresh links with every new thread you post. Edit in some ligitimate links please, or this gets closed.

    I also strongly advise that you read the rules thoroughly ...
    ...

  3. #3
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    ok links are fresh, lets get some feedback

  4. #4
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    Up, i would like to get something out of this.
    MondoThugs.

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  5. #5
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    uppin this

  6. #6
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    Awesome feed, thanks everyone for taking the time .
    MondoThugs.

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  7. #7
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    "fuck peace I'm obsessed with death and violence,
    Screw parental emotions, tomorrow they'll wake up… childless." thats the only line i liked between all three of u. i guess Illiterateemcee"s first line was iiiight, but allout i wasnt feeln it. it didnt read like a collabo, more like a few verses thrown together. Undisputed kinda kept my attention, but lacked the detail he should have with that style of telling a story. i didnt like this, its missing metaphores, some spots didnt even ryme like "I'm not your average person, I'm not what you want, not the same ol'…
    Person you meet on the streets, I was born from fire… believe me,
    …I'm the real, hell's angel." that just sounded corny to me.
    i dont know how ur styles are or how u sound, i read the verses my own way so take my citic how u want, but i keep it real.

    wreck shit

  8. #8
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    alright, thanks, uppin

  9. #9
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    undisputed's verse was fiyah, the rest were ok, but undis really killed it. yall are sorta a diamond in the rough, u not at ur peak, and got lots of improvement. overall 5 out of 10 song. keep it up

  10. #10
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    ...up

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