Brief & poetic.
Maybe multies and internal syllable rhyming could help make it better.
The concept is pretty original compared to recent OMs and i felt maybe u could work on emotion.
I got nothing else to say, but keep writing and work on the way u use concepts.
Please leave good feed-back on my piece....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207587
^^
i think your reading it wrong emotion-wise, but thnx anyways
[youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
this was a good piece..
ive been away for a long time, so wanted to see if u were still bringing it nicely... and looks like you are. nicely done.
i felt the emotion was good, like it always is..
told the story well and had good concepts involved
i liked the way you used your words here, the most..
the right words in the perfect places.
keep up, peace.
PandorasBox
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