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Thread: "Dont Be Fooled" ( Check it Out )

  1. #1
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    "Dont Be Fooled" ( Check it Out )

    “Don’t Be Fooled“



    Lust is nonexistent, for every man desires her affection
    Her impression, to one Day be masked under her protection
    The complexion, presents a nature so perfected
    Yet in need… like respect at times when she’s neglected
    Most would dream to spend such time… her to lay long
    And as each step passes, it’s more ground praised on
    Being honest, Lust loves her hypnotic features
    In addition her aromas, compelling like story tail creatures
    As in Queens, Castle of Towers, Armies and Kings
    Near By Villages, what a fascination she brings
    Most can’t help to sing, for these emotions this lady brings
    Eyes of a Future, Fingers reaching for the ring
    “Love at First Sight…” It’s like a bird flying its first flight
    Not knowing why… Just realizing it’s needed throughout life

    (Time to Take Breather)

    But this Love is not genuine, instead a hectic passion
    Bleeding for the moment, ignoring the reflection of ration
    Instead approaching the sweetness of attraction…
    Compelled to submit, Set to commit the interactions
    Satan the instructor, as slaves were in tuned
    Confined under his mask, as in his hands were consumed
    He survives off our Lust, our will, and even our nature
    That other than commitment, desire takes our favor
    If love crosses your view, check your composer
    For romance comes in flavors, Hearts can be colder
    Even seeming crystal clear, or even preceding mere
    Don’t crumble to shambles, Respect intentions you Fear……
    Don’t Be Fooled




    ( Tell me what yall think, I aint posted on here in a while... I will return favors, as long as I get good feedback... )


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    SEE THINGS THROUGH MY EYES... SEE THROUGH MY LYRICS

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    ~High Class... Back???~

  2. #2
    damn man, i liked it. good concept 'n some nice multis

  3. #3
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    thx, uppin


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    SEE THINGS THROUGH MY EYES... SEE THROUGH MY LYRICS

    My Open Mics

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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yo nice writing fosho... more of a poetic script than a rap lyric i'd say.
    just a bit over-rhymed on the "tion"/"sion" endings which such words irritate me for some reason..
    nice tho

    pz1
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  5. #5
    Madik
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    Damn, very nice flow dawg. The multies were very good and the first verse was practically amazing! The concept was very good. the only part needing improvement would be the last lines of the last verse, but it's real good. 9/10

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    You need to post two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.
    ...

  7. #7
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    My Bad, I forgot yall still inforcin that rule.... Good look with the tips yall...

    Threads Replied 2
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207059
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...06#post2650306
    Last edited by HighClass; July 2nd, 2005 at 08:13 PM


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  8. #8
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    8/10

  9. #9
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    overall i thought it was pretty solid, if id say anything its that be careful with your word choice in places, a couple of times it threw the flow eg.

    But this Love is not genuine, instead a hectic passion
    Bleeding for the moment, ignoring the reflection of ration

    like this bar seems a bit awkward if you know what i mean...

    other than that nice work
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  10. #10
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    I feel you, Sometimes I wanna say more than I should, LOL... Ya Know... Just know this... HighClass is back... good lookin man


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    SEE THINGS THROUGH MY EYES... SEE THROUGH MY LYRICS

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  11. #11
    -=Illest Skill=- Vicious Breed's Avatar
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    i liked it was like a poetic piece.. nice vocab i l9iked it .. good multis to.
    i felt the emotion in this piece and u detailed everyhting well good job
    Let The Pen Bleed So My Wrists Don't
    Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist


  12. #12
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    The description was good in the first stanza, especially in the second half. You started off with a little complex rhyming, which catches the attention of the reader. After the break you flipped the idea, which worked to give the rest of the piece a different look. Vocab was solid and structure was fine. The way you ended it was pretty nice, leaving the message.

  13. #13
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    yo i like that right there, good detail and had a lot of good rhyme in it, u started off well and finished well, in the end i liked how u ended wraping it up, and once said leaving a message. you also used good vocab on the piece...keep it up

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