Talk with God

[Kstroyer]

This is just a talk with God about the things i been through the reasons i am the way i am and will continue to do the things i do...

Times are hard as ever so my souls wishes to leave/
cuz the pressure the stress have effects you couldnt believe/
so i try to sit back and relax and wish my problems god speed/
but im in the midst of bullshit thats seems oceans deep/
you couldn't fathom the trials of my tribaltions i see/
sleepin on the floor in the location my bed should be/
but before that in house that the key didnt belong to me/
niggas paying a month bill for a 1 room bed suite..for three/
but thanks be to God for his blessings he has shown unto us/
thank Him cuz ill never forget where i came from, trust/
to all the haters that dont understand my drive my determination/
its just how i survive ill never allow my self back in taht situation/
hustle isnt the word cousin,ive been seen bustin concrete wit sledge hammers/
or in a funny uniform where large drink sizes are uniquely called big slammers/
your wrong when you say im arogant haughty or proud/
its just ive made it through the bullshit and convidence shines now/
you cant understand the way i do things cuz your heart is not behind your drive/
dont just look at my walk n swagger..stop!..take some time to look inside/
or stop me on the side and converse with me a while/
i bet my motivation rubs off and kickstarts your own drive/
i try to floss in every aspect of life, because its strictly motivation/
button ups, suits, and j's i make money therefore i have no temptations/
theres only one thing i cannot conqueror in this life and i dont think i will/
and its the race of humans from which my rib they came to live/
females, girls, women all names you can choose which one works for you/
cuz i barelyfigure them out, i can barely read them, i can barely decipher there lil codes/
im dealing with android women cuz each time i think i got one solved they switch modes/
bah im to young to be involved with such a time consumin matter/
id rather make money and more money and make my pockets fatter/
see im only twenty but ive experienced a lot already, some things i shouldnt have seen/
but it made me who i am triple the motivated for all thats green/
i was going to end it there but i dont want you to picture me as only greed/
ive just come to the understandin moneys first to gain all the rest you need/

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=201746
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=193891

[EyeBite]

ok... now lets start off with.. in this case you would need / longer lines needin the / to tell the readers that its not a new line.. thats good.. good rhymez and flow... good structure.. the lines and sylabols were good.. good job overall 8/10

[Trema]

Ayt homs this was ok, the structure i wasn't feeling that much. You need to try keep all the lines the same length or it gets confusing! Your vocab was fine but like i said it makes everything look weak when you cant understand something because of its structure or because you cant understand the rhymes! But if you fix up your structure try to keep every line the same length then it will be much better!

[sILLable]

true u need to elevate,tha structure was off which did make things somewhat confusing,your vocab and wordplay were off in my opinion,it was real choppy but that was due to your structure,keep elevatin and droppin.~1~

[Kstroyer]

upn