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Thread: Off the top

  1. April 25th, 2005, 01:24 AM #1
    .On-UrB.
    .On-UrB. is offline
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    Off the top

    Hopeless..
    what most seem to be
    a 'spokesmen'..
    inflictin a 'Host' in ya dreams
    broken...
    meaning its the 'mean..of rhyme scheme
    natrosious
    what u find when reading between me.

    what the diggidy fuck? who in their right-mind...
    would read a numb nuts stuff..some cat no one might-sign
    im the comparison of ameture surfers to a hawiian pipe-ride
    im the butter to acrobatic feet, have em 'slippin on a tyte line'
    are we intelligent? i think we need to Make-sure...
    like when the titanic crashed..think all em people yelled at the Glacier?
    its the equivilant to a rapie..Makin love to a Raper
    yea yea...thats great-sure...
    na its unconstitusional...im unrivalled...
    to rappers who say "im undestructable"
    that sorta UN's my-hope..
    god up there like...stupididty...am i liable?
    fuck-it..the fuck with..a freakin fuck-in fuck-shit...
    Ignorance..i love it...Gives this OutKast a 'subject..
    trashin all that wasted thought expenses, like womens credit wit low budgets
    most suckin a fuckin testicle..sayin "NUTtin"
    theres also this dual meaning when bluffin.
    funny how...buying weed wit no money..is "Frontin"
    something for nothing..is nothing..
    payin a hitman to kill em..."only in God we Trusting"
    and spittin shitty game, is like a dog that just wont stop Humping..
    friends got a performance..he about to be on..u wait in the back..
    do u tell em "hey break a leg" when he walks on stage wit a cast?
    leaves brains more In-Flames...than a Yeast infected ass...
    are u a student who doesnt leave..after class

    papostorious
    u can say what u will
    an astophigus..
    better for penis entre than a pill...
    and the populous..
    Grows greater still
    when we all out there cookin dragon flys on a Platinum Grill

    a lil something something i slapped together...
    word...

    ima post the links i posted at
    Last edited by .On-UrB.; April 25th, 2005 at 01:31 AM

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    (. Y .) .:{[On-UrB]}:. (. Y .)


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  2. April 25th, 2005, 01:33 AM #2
    .On-UrB.
    .On-UrB. is offline
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    posted at
    "coming of age" by Young Crakk
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=188314

    "hold u down freestyle" by New era part 2
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=188318
    Last edited by .On-UrB.; April 25th, 2005 at 02:59 AM

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  3. April 25th, 2005, 01:37 AM #3
    Kaotic Theory
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    u should leave 2 links or im sure this will be deleted.....

    anyways for a freestyle this wasn't bad man i liked the thought and shit put into, you had some strong lines.....and some weak lines, the imagery was pretty decent in some areas....anyway you flaws are emotion and punctuation,add some feeling man rather its happy,sad,anger,dissapointment anything but a drop with emotion is alot more better for the reader who can then feel what you are feeling or coming from after they read it....anyways you have potential man so just keep at it
    AI

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  4. April 25th, 2005, 03:02 AM #4
    .On-UrB.
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    word, thank u, enjoyed the feed back..
    yea i re read it, and i see what u sayin, but i just slapped this shit together...so i didnt feel bad...lol that ending was off...on the verse like i went from hip hop to country music lol
    up up..
    drop feed... like central park homeless ladies wit bread

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