Cold Red Stranger

[Chris Black]

This was dope. The flow could have been a little better, but I like the whole concept and story line. Nice shit. Keep writing, homie.

[Issue]

Thanks... are you the original wicked??

[Johnny 6-feet]

jesus christ! what a concept! you're pulling rabbits out your hat lately issue, some stylised work but the topic was great. the vocab is getting stronger all the time and the flow was pretty much spot on, and i KNOW how difficult it is to put conversation into a rap. steller work, compadre.

keep posting.

H'n'R.

[K9_THESHIT]

dope Issue...sorry i didn't give you feed untill now,but i've been busy...Best one you've written fam...the storyline was great,and had some nice twists in there...i'm seeing improvments in rhymescheme(more internals especially) and flow since your last one and that's surely a good thing...the imagery was done very nice,i would've made some different wordchoices in a few places,but nothing to stand out.and i really liked that you kept the flow and good rhymescheme during the dialogue...it isn't that easy to pull of...i've noticed only minor bugs in this,nothing really to complain...Dope again issue...keep it up!

check "anguished"(in my sig) when you have the time!

Peace fam!

[Issue]

Thank you for the replies, I hit up your piece tomorrow, little bit worse for where right now u c lol.

Up

[Baron Mynd]

This has been dogged by the shitty responses, get one of the mods to delete some of the posts.

Aside from that, you're developing well under my watchful eye - Thats pretty much evident from the responses you're getting toward your shit now, you're improving, but i'd like the members to keep all the "You're dope .." comments to themselves as far as you go, I dont want you thinking you're great and then slacking off thinking you dont need to push yourself harder because you're already good enough - YOU'RE NOT POLISHED! Believe me. But, you are making progress. The internals here were commented on already, similarly with the topic you went for - the flow is helped a lot by your use of multis now ( See, i told you that would help a lot! .. ) but again, kids are faulting your structure - STOP CENTERING PIECES WHEN YOU'RE USING A VERDANA FONT HERE - it throws the pieces off, i thought you'd of learnt that by now. What im going to suggest now may come across weird, BUT - stop aiming for serious type topics for now. Write one a little off the wall, humourous, bragging, and with flow. It'll help make you a little more well-rounded because as you improve topically - you'll be able to include humourous phrases or situations, which CAN actually create a better character-build up to your leads. Also, it doesnt hurt to flex your muscles a little, try out new types of flow, schemes, see what works and what doesnt. You've seen me do it a few times .. You just need a break occasionally.

Thats all for now.


Pz!

[Andrew..]

Ummm Who are you? Alias?

The reason I want to know is because....This was a nice peice. Creative and a nice concept. To me the beginning was kind of confusing but then I continued reading it so I could understand it. You had some nice imagery in most of this peice. Like I think someone else said this could have been a little bit longer but nice peice.

[Issue]

I don't have an alias, Novacain? I wasn't well known by that name...

and also, than you baron!

[Baron Mynd]

ROFL, dont thank me. I agreed to help you, and im good to my word. You're writing waaaaaaaaaaay too much though right now, its like a piece every two or three days, you're gonna burn yourself out.

[Issue]

I was what you call in the mood with a LOT of free time, now Im back to work and Im gonna be to knackered to write from now until at least a few days. But I always write, some people watch telly or play computer games, Im either on the net or writing and I'v never burned myself out.

[Awaken]

As I've said over and over again, everyone of your OM's are really good material, and this is by far the best work I've seen from you bro. Expect a nomination. On another note, Everything seemed pretty much flawless in here. The storyline was well thought out, and turned out pretty well. The pace of the flow was almost perfect, no interuptions or fillers, nothing. Most people would have a very difficult time writing with quite a few lines of dialogue in their piece, but yours came out pretty much all on point. Every line made sense, no matter how ''complicated'' it may be to some readers. The flow and multies were just top-notch all the way through, which gave this piece the rating it deserves. As I said, expect a nomination from me man..keep writing.

[Issue]

Thank you so much Awaken, We will collab very soon... Same as Eddy, Ill try get a topic to you for it.

Upp

[Issue]

Downn!

I mean upp!

[Deviate]

This was a very good piece... Good vocabulary... Imagery.... Metaphor... Everything was here that you need to make a very good OM. I enjoyed the entire thing, the concept was also very interesting. I enjoy you're writing style, the way you write appeals to me and flows very well, which makes it easy to read and more enjoyable. There were a number of aspects I wasn't wild about, but that was just my personal view - I won't share that as it would be unfair to say how I would've written it.

There isn't anything to criticise heavily here really... This was very good. If you could leave feedback on "Dead Boy" OM Version in my sig I'd appreciate it.

You should join SS btw...

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