Tha-Joka v/s Tha-Joka

[Vikkie™]

verse:
Man you fear the simplest things,like talking to her
Just give her your thoughts n don't add pressure
But your too G'd up right?Or maybe that's a front
Your old man died so you threw yourself a punch
He was never there but you showed em love?
But when someone closer was to die..they'd get a shove
Man shut up I don't fear her,just she's better than most
Like her style her skin her smile makes me stiffen like a post
G'd up?Nah just Cali showed me my bloodline plus the truth
Real people livin real lives,my dad?He treated me like The Root
Never showed love until he was about to die...dont lie
If my Mom passed I'd fade away n find somewhere to lie
Shut the fuck up don't lie to yourself you fear this girl
If God gave you her you'd back down like the Moon from the world
Let's be serious now you fought for your rep?your a OG
Like Tropicana you'd beat someone to a pulp in the OC
Your dad was a G so are you so face it youll die too
That's the truth whether you accept or deny it fool
Your mom passed you'd die on the spot thats the honest part
So dont lie twice cause ths isn't the place to have a change of heart
You know wat fuck you...ill go n get her anyday anytime
Unlike your bitch ass I'd take a bullet instead of a crime
I don't play G on G i play real for real...so I am honest
I'd pay the cost for our death no matter what it cost us
Let my old man die!!That's right he already did too bad
Fuck the funeral I wasnt mad and at most I wasnt sad
If my mom passed id be lost but Id be good...homeboys live
Probably go back to trappin instead of fret over old shit

Last words:
Nigga I hope you done talkin cause I gotta go prove myself to that girl nigga not much time otha boys movin in...nice talkin to ya but go back in ya dark corner

[Steer]

that was some nice shit man props!

[StuartStrange]

Tight piece, my friend. I liked the you vs yourself theme. some of the rhymes coulda been smoother but sometimes it was just right. It was enjoyed.

[Johnny 6-feet]

i liked the concept and the execution was pretty good as well. i think you should work on your vocab though man. some multi's would've helped the flow as well. but originality is by far the most important thing in an om.

keep posting, keep elavating. if you could rep one of mine in return i'd appricaite it.

[DeafBlind&Mute]

NICE, like the idea and the execution as well. flow was good some parts were weak bu could easily be fixed. Verbage is a tad lacking in places (well the weak places). rhyme wasnt bad either again some verbage would have helped get you higher marks in rhyme. re-examine re-write and re-post. I like this one a lot Id like to see a finished draft actually so shoot me one if you ever do re-write this one.