Truth

[Alphaeus]

Truth
by Stock


Do not Judge Me

Hello call me Mr. nobody,
I am a disaster -
If you hit me, I do not bleed,
If you stab me, I do not feel.
Pain is nothing to me, but a hold;
A hinder on my heart that
stops my blood from pumping,
my tiny world from turning.

Do not Judge Me

So I sit in font of masses
asking for forgiveness from people,
that outside this circus I would not
spit on in the street -
I would not piss on you if you were on fire
and, Miss I would not fuck you -
If you were the last woman to spread her legs
and I was dieing from a terminal illness.

Dear, dear
Do not Judge Me

Alcohol, drugs, nicotine, coke, sex
Yep, I am a patron –
I would do them all day long if I could,
and my bank account and body would condone.
What, fuck you!
I’ll be alive when you are dead,
I’ll be laughing when you are crying,
I’ll be screwing when you are praying.
Relax, relax - I take it all back.

Please, please
Do not Judge Me

Set out to destroy me,
draw my blood from veins.
Mind is never free,
locked in a wire ribbon cage.
Waiting, waiting,
to be accepted into the fold
The truth is –
This sorry act is starting to hit home.

Do not Judge Me

[Alphaeus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-386261.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...em-385401.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ds-386238.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ht-386337.html

[Foreshadow]

This was a very nice piece man. I thought that you portrayed the picture very well and you had a nice arrogance to the writing in this. I feel that the tone of this was pretty good. A lot of statements that brought you into the character and gave you that sort of mindset if you will. The imagery in this was good but I felt could have been better! There was some nice detail but I didn't feel that you did your best on imagery compared to your previous works. Nice job man

[Chappy]

Nice work mate, I enjoyed reading this, and I felt in some parts I could relate to this... I'm no expert at poetry but I think I'm safe in saying this is a pretty good poem. Good stuff.

[Alphaeus]

Thanks guys, and I agree with you Fore - probs not my best imagery when you compare it to my pieces like, Just one more step and Pretty lady in colour.

[Rein Ryder]

I'm sorry Stock it's not some of your BEST work, but I can say it was enjoyable.
I liked how you used the Do not Judge Me line, it worked it pretty well.
Imagery wasn't up to your full potential but still compared to some others (like mine) it's a masterpiece.
Still keep writing I love your work.

[Alphaeus]

Don't worry man, it's fine.
I just had an idea that I thought would be good for a piece
so I wrote this and posted it for feed...it's all good kids

[RaYCHaSER]

i loved the cold indifference in this piece. The "do not judge me line" contrasted well with your verses, you have a lot of conflicting points of view in this, i think thats what makes it so good.
keep it up

[p O e T i Q u E]

piece was fierce....I cant compare to anything else you've written because i havent been on this site in months really so havent read much yet sorry

but as far as the piece i love the "do not judge me" lines....and i loved the confidence..umm..maybe arrogance behind the piece..

vocab was nice to me.....

however, i wouldve liked to see more images...more detail...Poem was great but would have been better if you would have come stronger...Thanks for the read

[Lelouch]

this was a very well written piece i liked
the emotion i sensed in it, i can relate to
this drop in a way, cause people always judge me,
so i can feel where your coming from, and i liked
the vocab throughout, only thing it lacked was imagery
but with a poem like this, the reader really doesn't need
one, overall good write, i see your elevating fast,
keep writing.

RTF.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ou-386895.html