Also, being that this is almost up to my level of topical writing, i must say it deserves a spot in legends.
Also, being that this is almost up to my level of topical writing, i must say it deserves a spot in legends.
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When a drop gets to 4 pages, pretty much everythings been said....
but this was nice....
"Thundering pains in my head, from powders ive snorted
I don’t do it for the image, but to get that image distorted"
that was my favorite bar right there....the wording and message
were so nice vocab and wordchoice were nicely done..overall a
dope piece...OMHOF without a doubt
peep this please http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176291
A few achievements here and there
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This was a great drop
Loved everythin' about it
Deep too right on love deep drops
keep up
peace
wat more can I say
I dont really read OM's or topicals that much. but this was aiight
I vote pick up a mic and flow that shit
quality doesnt matter, just rap it over a beat and it'll be almost a kajillion times better.
it was aiight, none the less.
keep droppin
Per Se
"Fuck The He Say, She Say Shit"
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So what can you do when boys is men
Our self-image depends on the next man's scrimmage so I sin
Cause thou shalt not kill, but I tried my best
Left my fingerprints in his neck
I never understand why brothers try to act up on one another
But if the static is comin'
Fool, you won't catch me runnin'
yea, i thought it was a decent piece. overall, to me it was a decent read. nothing all that great in my mind but it was good. i really did enjoy it, but you've heard enough praise over the piece, you need to know the flaws. look..
I lust for the depression, the aggression art holds
The obsession to make an impression as a possession unfolds
^that, right there, i know what you're thinking. you're wanting to establish a flow. but, you know how many times people have used those words in a the same way you did? not that it's bad, it's just something i've seen from a lot of people.
other things i noticed...the ending rhyme was always really simple. nothing ever got creative with the end rhyme. and personally, while i read it, it seemed like you forced a couple things.
none the less, it was a good, emotional, and strong piece. i've just got to say, it isn't legendary and blah blah as other people said. don't let that get you too hyped up. well maybe it is, maybe it's just me who didn't feel it that way. but anyways, good job and keep at it.
that was incredable
wow, great shit
i loved it
thanks everyone..kerr stay up....last up yo.
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This wasn't legendary by a long shot. Not complex enough, & the message just wasn't there.
And return the fav on the link I posted you hoe.
...
I switched from a pen to a pencil as my writing utinsal/ Just to stinsil these symbols, my fuckin lyrical sylobals/ An unbelievable miracle, on the mic I'm invincible/ In real life I'm a criminal, fuck this life it's not critical/ But it's official; I resemble a ghost, yea I'm invisible/ Not seen by most even though my fuckin' image is literal/ It's inevitable, I'm just a regular dust covered pebble/ But it's what ever, pull my lever and behold stormy weather/ Man I won't ever rest in piece, my fuckin' spirit can't settle/ Cause I'm a full kettle, mixed lava and relish/ It's foolish, I use too many narcotics, its stupid/ You knew this bitch, don't apologize, it's useless/ I'm loosin' my mother fuckin' patience with you trick/ click..click..boom, commit a murder it's through/ Admit I triggered at you, stuck in this prison I'm blue/ I just blew..see the results of what this finger can do.
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period
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Ill drop K. I think it's pne of the best i've seen from u. I could really elate to this because I often wonder if I've been through enough "hard time" to really be a good artist lyricaly and I thnk u tapped into that idea. Was really impressive and worthy of all the Open Mic nominations it recieved. Be lookn fo r ur next post.
Opener was Ill:
I lust for the depression, the aggression art holds
The obsession to make an impression as a possession unfolds
The moulds of a true artist, I let my mind go wondering
Sometimes opens my eyes to success, or I go blind from blundering
DONT keep using all those -ings and -ions rhymes, they are so terribly basic I hate them. If anything, they take away from the effort you put into this.
Just a word of advice ..
WORD P e r f e c t !
RESERVOIR GODS
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thanks.
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Damn K I dont think that I have really read anything from you before and this piece was crazy. I agree with what wicked said to you early'r I think that you are one of the top topical heads on the sight. It would be good if you joined SS. Damn that would so much more competition to the table. But this piece was real nice the flow was real nice but the one thing in this piece that was outstanding was the emotion and details and how you made the reader feel when they read this piece, amazing.
dope thanks alot man....hit me up on aim
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nerd...get a job
K wat a great name...
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