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Thread: FiXuP: ReAl LiFe AnD rAp BeEf!! ReAd PlEaSe

  1. #1
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    FiXuP: ReAl LiFe AnD rAp BeEf!! ReAd PlEaSe

    Beef

    Beef is a bunch of bs, all Publicized/
    50-nas, Biggie and pac just dun to attract Eyes/
    This shits gotta stop, cause conflits Erupt/
    Stars get caught up, mixed up, and soon go Bankrupt/
    Reporters and publicists do this for Attention/
    Its all fun and games, till cops start Apprehension/
    And whats with this new beef, 50 and Game/
    I say this shits fake, cuz they all start off the Same/
    Then shit spreads...cops involved, front page on the News/
    Emcees wakeup, get calls, start to get Confused/
    Accuzations of shots fired somewere in the Streets/
    They get pissed, cameras in they face, questions is Repeats/
    Soo stressed they get, work slips Away/
    Spot lite fades, and haunting memories seem to Stay/
    Beef occurs in the world, not only in the rap Game/
    Take 9/11 for instance, this shits a cryin Shame/
    Osama bin laden and Sadem Hussein/
    2 motherfuckas the U.S has gotta Obtain/
    Attacks on new york city, that shit was Dark/
    Beef in real world aint exactly a strole in the Park/
    One of these days beef would be demolished Completely/
    As i sit wit this buildup, i stare and think Discretely/

    Return the Feedback on ma Sig...thankx
    And ill return the fava

  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    This wasnt abd, you've got the potential there. Liked the concept you went for with this, though - it was pretty short. You should of elaborrated further, got more in depth with what you wanted to say.

    One thing: Ditch the / things at the end of each line, we arent stupid! Lol.
    Second thing: Try to use more multi's, do you know what they are? If not, try the tutorial forum and you'll find help there.
    Overall, this wasnt a bad piece by any means. Just keep practicing.

    Words of advice ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  3. #3
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    You had some good ideas associated with your topic, you strayed off a little. Still an alright choice of topic. There are more things you can go into, if you want to add another verse to this. Work on being descriptive with your context.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493

  5. #5
    .Spitualistic.
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    YOU DID HAVE SOME KEY POINTS ON THIS HRRR, GOOD TOPIC, UNDERSTOOD WHERE YA WAS GOING WITH THIS, BUT I KNOW THIS COULD BE ELEVATED MORE. THERE DEFINITELY IS POTENTIAL....
    KALIKOZE9/11

    holla rtrn da fav.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174381
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=174433

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  6. #6

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