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Thread: name no names

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ReNaGaDe's Avatar
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    Angry name no names

    this verse is for sum one i use to have beef with offline so here it is...


    CASTRATE-YOUR-ADAMS-APPLE, rotate your face into a figure EIGHT-WITH-A-FATAL-GRAPPLE//Your HATE-I-TRAMPLE, SNAP-N-CRAMPLE you in SCRAP-LIKE-SAMPLES// TECHS-INFUSE, TEXT-ABUSE to WRECK-YOUR-SCREWS, strangle you till your a SPEC-OF-GOO
    BLASTIN-THIS-FULL-CLIP, SMASHIN-THIS-FOOLS-HIP, your in my divine threshold, Your THRASHIN-IN-DROOL-BITCH from MESSING-WITH-CRUEL-SHIT//Verse:
    I CAME-ROUGH, life was hard, teachers alwayz BLAMED-US//your verses, are like american mothers packin lunch, you can't expect the SAME-STUFF//your name sucks, and im sprayin bullets while im in my KILLIN-STANCE/
    Your name doesnt "fit you", like fat people trien to wear CHILDRENS-PANTZ//Why WASTE-MY-TIME, when i could literaly BREAK-YOUR-MIND//TESTS-I-THROW while CHESTS-I-BLOW//I got my "hands full", I got your mothers and sisters BREASTS-TO-HOLD!!Rappin is like a a exam, my verse is PAST-HARD//We couldnt understand your verse if you wrote it on FLASH-CARDS//
    Im carrieng you in a hearse, oxidation makin the HEARSE-BROWN//your rhymes are "shit",i need "laxatives" to "break your VERSE-DOWN"//Burn you to the crisp, like fries and HASH-BROWNS//

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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ReNaGaDe's Avatar
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    feed back please

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  3. #3
    how the fuck do i edit my avatar

  4. #4

    Cool

    the rhymes was kinda tight u can do better/ u need to sleep wit the mic or wear it tight like a sweater/ if u was battling me u would feel under the weather/ but wit those rhymes winning a battle u can never/ u a lil boy u on a whole smaller level/its like u got on a bike and forgot how to pedal/wit my rhymes i would be diggin yo grave wit a shovel/And got u thinkin in yo head "he must be related to the devil"

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    ^ don't post in someone's elses thread unless you're giving feedback
    For the verse Renegade, I liked the rhyming, had nice multis. Punches were alright, and there was a lot of wordplay, keep that up. Had some nice lines.

  6. #6
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    renagade this was okay, but i could have been better.. i think you forced a lot of multies... and why the hell are you capitalized them? I have a funny feeling your jacking lines from goldmic... youve been warned.

  7. #7
    Xplicit Teknique
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    It was pretty good, but I agree its seems your trying to force some rhymes, you should let it flow more.

  8. #8
    Irrelevance
    Guest
    not bad...

    take out all the slashes... there just annoying... any try working on structure... make em more like

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    than

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    yeah....

    nice work...

  9. #9
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ReNaGaDe's Avatar
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    close it then im finished here

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