Somethin Somethin

[~Verbal Assault~]

Da place i live is so dam rough if u don't believe me drive by like u tough

Tired of these rappers talking all about
all of their drugs, having sex, blackin out
never did that stuff i can say truthfully today
but it was like an all you can smoke buffet

to make a livin in my life it took guts
most of the kids jacked a meat store just for some cold cuts
trying to go to sleep, momma then go tuck you in
then she walks out the door, protistuting

Da place i live is so dam rough if u don't believe me drive by like u tough

this is my hood man this is my life
my dad lost his life but left to save to save his kids and wife

Then out the do' she goes, then you lie in bed
while those fast ass gun shots ringing through yo head
some one breaks a window and you see a man
with a muthinfuckin gat , you think of yo life span

how to hell to get out you gotta make a plan
your turning more hot than a god dam frying pan
but remeber, your only like seven or eight
but your mind is moving faster than an interstate

this is my hood man this is my life
my dad lost his life but left to save his kids and wife

WHy aint you momma here she'd know what to do
she outside doing what she gotta do
to get some money just to feed your young tail
yo' life is more acidic than whats on the PH scale

he see's you, and then he starts to smile
tears run down yo cheeks you wonder if lifes worthwhile
you try to escape, but he's alot bigger
then you see him pullin that cold black dam trigger

other open mics:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181407
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181404

[lyrical disaster]

yeh good good, nice message, but it seemed kinda simple like the rhyming words were easy man, didnt tickle my fancy but yeh not too bad bro...

[CrazyCarl]

You don't need the spaces you had between sections. Since you had some multis carry over to the next section, they would have looked better connected. You had some wordplay, keep that up. You attempted to fill the lines to have them more even, which is good, but remember to insert words that have to deal with the story, they work better than a curse.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178612

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[~Verbal Assault~]

lol Bump