The Demons I See - Small

[Ike Ill.]

This is a poem I wrote when I was high, dogs were barking and sniffing me.

HellHounds..The cautious bumble-eyed demons of breath
Absorbing my soul, using my pure existence to lack in death.
Unforgiven, satanist with a path known widely as despise
Ghosts of the near, inhabitants K9..Elevating their cries.
Distance is key, fear is consequence..Life watching tight
Grip eyelids, befriend the close and stay under the light.
For these are the warnings of the loved ones that care
About the demons behind your ears swelling in despair.

Its very short, so if you have read the short 8 lines, please leave comments.

[p O e T i Q u E]

YO, you had good ill vocab i was feelin the flow of all eight lines and it aint gotta be long to get a point across it was really good keep it kid

[Foreshadow]

I havent read anything of your before this was a decent piece I hope you stay active and keep dropping.

[Ike Ill.]

^ Yes you have, I am Twizted.

[Foreshadow]

Oh ight I wasnt aware that you changed your name.

[Ike Ill.]

^ Holy hell @ your losses.


Did you just get two today?!

[Vikkie™]

this was short decent for your first pretty good to me
keep workin on it

[Sobe]

i like this piece... only 8 lines but it was good

worded well and nice flow

[Facts Machine]

good vocab and i like the concept. it seems very subliminal and i felt the emotion. if u really did this while high, then i wouldn't be surprised cuz bein high while writing shit ends up seeming very poetic.
good job on this. well done.

[Exculptifactoriusness]

For 8 lines, I thought this was fucking Dope.
Good Vocab in a small time period of lines to work with.
Goo job with the imagery also. Good use of words and sayings
Strong opening as well as ending.
Very strong, good job.

[Hood Tactics*]

nice poetry.... like to see peoples thougths even though u cant see me ....

[Bruklor]

The explanation turned me off this.

[prodigal_prophet]

thats fuckin dope as hell..considering how short it is...i love the imagery and such. the flow is spectacular, and the rhyme scheme wasn't bad neitha...keep em comin homey.

[ILLunatic]

Not a bad drop homie, keep it up.
I see some good qualities in your poetry.
Interesting sense of writting.
Try going after a story line next time,
show more of your talent in description.

[MenacE]

I knew Twiztid had to have somethin to his name.....Nice dark, tormented stuff, man. Keep up your poetry. You always had a way with words....and demented detail..Again, very good