Unstitched Patches

[Mantra]

^ lol @ Demonseed...
This was just awesome sweety. I remember when you showed me the
unfinished version a while back, and reading it now i love it just as much.
as i did then. Plus i'm happy to see you were able to finish it finally, lol
which isn't easy to do, especially for me. Anywho, your style is so cool. I dunno what it is, but i'm always facinated by your writing. And this was no different. Right off the bat you grabbed me with the opener, which is
actually my favorite part of the poem. The rest followed suited, namely
with emotion, which was definitely the defining quality of the piece.
Plus coupled with the metas and your ever developing voice, it really
left little room for criticism. But if i had to focus on something i'd say
maybe your wording could use a bit of work. Though i say that
hesitantly beacuse it was really good, its just maybe in spots it came
off the tounge a little rigid. but i'm just being picky. regardless
superb drop bud. You should definitely write more. You're returning
to form nicely. please keep it up

[p O e T i Q u E]

ayo very good drop. I loved it Like the bocab and it kept me wanting to read more. I'm feelin the style you givin off keep droppin!

[Mesmerize]

thanks for the replies.....uppin

[Telekinetic]

Up up and away...

[Foreshadow]

Damn mez this was a nice poem. The rhyme scheme was crazy and from the opening line I was hooked. Thats was genius. I loved the story it was real nice and I loved your choice of words. This poem was executed real nicely and it was very well written nice job and I would like to collab with you some time.

[Mesmerize]

legendary maybe??? lol thankya

[MythDirection]

i owe you a reply on this

to be truthful it was fairly standard stuff from what i have seen around the site
rhyming couplets paired with some imagery that could go a couple ways
i yearn to read something really explicitly plain or true
only some origami guy has shown me that

by the way i did like this it was just not enough to make me truly interested

[Mesmerize]

Thanks Myth, I apprecitate your feed on this. This whole poem basically was a metaphore so i dont know if you fully understanded it or not, but again thanks

[MythDirection]

well you should write to connect with your audience not just metaphors that only you understand, just playing

wink

[Mesmerize]

im sure most peeps that have read this understood it perfectly......

[MythDirection]

i am just joshing about that but really you are not as good as you seem to make out

[Mantra]

^ Show some respect, you're posting in her thread after all.
Plus that's a tad arrogant of you to say. Who are you to judge
what's/who's good or not? and isn't poetry a personal thing? i don't
know many people who write soley to connect with an audience.
Granted some do, but seems to me it would be more important
that she got something out of it than a bunch of kids on a
rap site.

[Prince Escobar]

Daughtered?

I dont understand all the bickering and Mantra u just served to fuel this shame on you..
sorry for coming in the thread and not droppin feed on the poem Mes, consider this an up *wink* 1luv.

[Mantra]

i know you are right dude, and i actually told mes to be the
bigger person and not respond back to her, but i felt i had to at
least say something. Plus i dont like when peole talk to my friends
like that. I wasn't intending any disrespect towards Myth it
just kind of gets on my nerves when stuff like this happens
and sorry to you to Amanda for clogging this up with freeposts

[Jacent.]

Shit. This was raw as fuuuuuuuuck. That opening line was just beautiful. Its hard to picture a chick on a rap board posting pieces such as this...& NICE ones at that. I seriously loved this piece to def. Foreal. Good shit Mez. Maybe we can collab sometime yo..

that'd be ill