Return of Tha Dragon

[Tha DraGoN]

uh oh he we go again wit all these fake mc's that are really like to pretend the people on this site r tha real street soldiers we chew up them fakers an put them in folders. them lil people r jus punk ass fakerz they an embarassment to tha game lik kobe bryant to tha lakers. every day its the same old story another person gets shot and stupid lil kids on maury. Tha DraGoN jus come up and i no im jus thirteen but im gettin myself up in this rap scene. im tired of seein these people that think they can rap but they really aint a blip on the radar they aint even on the map im back
and im here to play on because this is the unrestrained return of Tha DraGoN

[CrazyCarl]

You attempted some wordplay, I thought it could have been worded better. Only your first post, but for the future, pick a topic that you can develop over the course of the verse. Its easier for people to read the verse when you end the line rhyme also. Keep writing if you want to get better.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168531

[WhiteNoise]

yo i thought u could have used more vocab or worded it a lil better^^like what he said.....since ur new ill cut some slack......but u need to work on ur structure.....keep spittin........

[conquistador]

sounded kind of GAMEish.....I guess it's hot for ya first post because it's a million times better than my first post but keep dropping lil homie you gonna see some improvement if you pay attention. I just wish your structure was better and the timing of your punches was so off.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.