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Thread: poetry

  1. #1

    poetry

    honestly,i cant imagine things differntly,
    i love you, i just miss how it used to be.
    but things pass bye, and now everytime,
    i look u in the eye, theres this stange emptyness inside,
    but i guess i accept the fact that you aint commin back,
    it justs hurts to admit that thats that, and the lines flat.
    to say we're alone, is stretching the line,
    sometimes its home, thts hard to find,
    but thats fine, life goes on, people change,
    and tehre nothing wrong with feeling ashamed,
    nohing wrong with being low, but i cant ride alone,
    and cant fly solo, and i guess i didnt realise,
    how much i didnt show.I guess i cant criticise after all these lies,
    but now, finally, i can see, that we're never gonna comprimise.

  2. #2
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    this was aiight.it mos. def. had potential, more of a poetic spit than open mic drop,but what ever,nice content,good imagery,needed more multis,a better rhyme scheme,and elaborate your story more.well anyway,tight piece,keep elevatin man.~1~


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  3. #3
    Banned
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This piece was aight, the vocab and structure and good but the flow was below average, there was a good emotional tone to the verse but i think you should of posted this in the poetry section.

    Hit this up.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169972

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