dark forest

[un_conscious_one]

peeling the bark birds began to fall
steal a Flax fighting felines will call
bleeding flesh flows ill incisal iodine
mini military use stinging swift sign

while each phylum fails every time
sweaty blades beat rancid chyme
counting days for the deadly cease
churning skin dirt sees heavenly ease

unexpected hell comes for the origin
mimicking some part of the original sin
yet a dark conscious stays disclosed
and for now only the animal knows

what warning will soon be noticed
is a sheet of death covered in mist
but a yellow shinning will be blind
forcing one to destroy every kind

maybe a spiked claw full of fur
one day can extend a crying purr
and the glove burnt chipping hand
will accept some duality of green land

Yet sharp cognition in any forest walk
Because bone never bore a right to talk
As rubber crushes a squirt of ugly life
A rabbit cries watching a blade slice

And the shredding fiber by some liger
Creates a white mixture of the red tiger
And broken faith that really never was
Killing like all his predecessor does

slick thin bleeding rays sprouting out
outsider seeing needs to shout about
And the teeth verse black metal war
Makes birds fall…those who once could soar

[un_conscious_one]

bummp

[un_conscious_one]

bump

[un_conscious_one]

bumped

[.verity.]

interesting, this peice was average. flow was, okay. vocab was cool, and your structure was solid. But try and use some indentations or commas and shit. cause alot of your stuff just ran on and you kinda had to pause at certain spots in order to understand this peice. but for the most part concept was cool everything else was ok.

neway keep droppin

peace...

[un_conscious_one]

bump