Suicide Note

[DALC]

Theres no place that I cannot follow you,
Fate can kiss my ass,never gonna allow this,
To happen again,its over,no more fighting.

Ive been on this Earth for way to long,
So fuck it.
This is my suicide note,I'll see you all-
In hell.
or heaven,whichever figmented pigment,
of cognitve apparatus you wish to,
support yourself-
upon.

because I dont care anymore,
In existence or death;heaven or hell,
I will controll pain-
And now i make it cease.
And I will enjoy,
My only good night's sleep,
Here in the bed of my literature.
and it hurts no more;
strange.

[DALC]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169565

[sNoopfox]

A nice drop DALC. I felt alot of resentment and anger in this poem...And for some reason I think you enjoyed writing it...or atleast you were being true to yourself. Not that your a suicidal or anything, just an angry person
The theme was obvious from just reading the title, so I knew what to expect. It was a decent read, but you couldn't have implemented some thing more I think, just so make me think...or the lack of makes me think....blah...
Drop again n keep it up.

sNoopfox

[Dan Dare]

This is the best thing I've seen you write to date. You still need to work on your grammar and punctuation though. And you could have expressed yourself slightly better. But at least this has something in it, in the way of content. Keep at it.

[DALC]

^No.
It took me 30 seconds to write this,where it takes hours days and weeks to produce the other thinkgs i can write.
Simplcity is your taste,and that really was a suicide note i wrote acouple of weeks ago and i didnt go through with it.
I just expanded it into somewhat of a poem here.
But it is your taste.

[Mag...]

^proof positive that you can schlock together crap and call it poetry on rb

[DALC]

You all ridicule a 3 weak prodject and yet i get good comments for a note i wrote in about 30 seconds.........

[Mag...]

"a 3 weak prodject"

LMAO

your orthographic modus operandi is calamatously necessitous of theurgy for eugenic revivication . . .

or some such nonsense

[Dan Dare]

You should have gone through with it.

[DALC]

Well im getting good replies on several others sites and from other people in the "real world"
So i dont really care about you all.

[.verity.]

alot of anger expressed throughout this peice, very interesting. I liked how you used discriptive words and emotion which added to the quality of this poem. I think that you should work on your structure and possibly you vocab. a little basic but thats not always the point to a poets thoughts. neway for the most part i thought this was a very interesting peice.

And now i make it cease.
And I will enjoy,
My only good night's sleep,
Here in the bed of my literature.

somthing about this line just grabbed my attention. in some point in my life it feels i had felt somthing like this before.

neway nice drop...

return the favor: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=169840

peace...

[DALC]

^LOLLLLL
He told me to work on my vocabulary.

[.verity.]

cause it sucks...

oh wait.... ^LOLLLLL

[DALC]

well fuck i was gonaa blow my head off,i didnt really care about writing it dude.

[sNoopfox]

DALC...chill out abit. You can't take criticism too personal. As I said about this piece, it was full of raw emotion which i felt.
Maybe your work is too over complex for us to take at face value, maybe it isn't...
Either way, you shouldn't feel rejected and resent anyone who gives you feedback.
The problem might not be other people, rather you.

sNoopfox