new in this biatch... lol..

[BIAS]

I'm well past murderous
an' outcast verbalist
evil ain't even a word fa this
eeer, ummm
sure I'm
jus' anothre hum-drum
drug spun thug but
there's one difference
for instance
just listen
i run a muck
wit such-a persistance
in rhythm on instruments
it inflicts a disection
of hip hop as it exists
in my section
dialect's a vile method
an' i've perfected it
perplexin rhyme etiquette
an' messin wit 9 out 10 heads who checkin in
ta check this shit out
hence, this is how i rip a vowel
pop 2 E pills an' kick a foul sylla-bowel
beatin that ass... get it
smoke so much green you could even call me a vegan
but i slaughter raw meat'n emcees even when i'm sleepin
.....

just ta kick shit off up in here...
get at me...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167766
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167511

[Ndustrial Minded]

not bad newb...i ain't no vet but i ain't toal newb...your lines need to be longa yo...I'm well past murderous
an' outcast verbalist
coulda made those to lines amazin if they were longa and had more depth to them

[Novacain]

Yeah man, there isnt much to say about this but i was feeling it.
It was a typical newbie drop, but still ok.
You should make your lines longer, and try make your rhymes jump off the page in a piece like this.

I really do think there should be different sections for stuff like this, I dunno, its not my place to say it just IMO, i think RB needs to seperate stuff.

Anyway stay up and keep droppin

Check this 4me man...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167639

[Ndustrial Minded]

^ word....you need to make ya lines really pop out at us when ya new that way you get more respect no doubt....and it'll get ya noticed a lil more too....but keep droppin
and hit up an OM link in my sig would ya? thanks

NM

[BIAS]

i ain't newb... lmao,,,, damn, on this page i guess... shit's 4 vocal, not a text piece to start wit.. whatever tho, word on the feedback ... i'm-a peep ^ a'ight man..

[Ndustrial Minded]

^ yo sorry for callin ya newb....no hate i jsut checked ya posts....misunderstood i guess....basically you a newb to the site unless you have an alias

[Novacain]

^ It still seemed like a newb verse man, I gess you do need elevation.

Good luck with that, the piece has potential, use it

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167639
peep that for me please, thanks

[Awaken]

I agree, a newb verse, nothing made sense, u did the typical drug, thug rhyming with a little bit of stupidty thrown in.

[spokenoh]

That verse was better than anything I read of any of yours. I liked the rhyming pattern, and although it wasn't coherent in spots, it was just a verse. I would like to see what you could do with a topic, get at me sometime. Peace.

[STAT$]

Unless you are twista.......ur lines are way to short.....but do ya thing

[IwIlLmErKyOu]

yeah this was an aight piece, but you need to lengthen the bars. good flow, aight vocab. just touch it up...peace

[spokenoh]

Wtf, this is why the Open Mic section is so shitty. The way he made his format, his lines are longer. What the fuck, you haven't heard him spit it so you have no idea. Fucking retards everyone. I hate this site.

[Red_]

Pretty good, im a new b 2 so hit my shit up when im finished wit it
overall 6 out of 10

[CrazyCarl]

The way you typed it out made it look like your lines were really short. You had some good ideas. I'd like to see you write about a topic where you can put in more content to set up the rhyme. This was good though, probably better on audio.

[StraitJakit]

It was pretty good. it had good multies but you need to better distinguish your lines
keep elevatin