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Thread: The Dark Realm

  1. #1
    SYNOPSIST
    Guest

    The Dark Realm

    THE DARK REALM

    You see, ancient philosophies makes direct mockeries of the anthropology /
    When intricate chemistry nor infinite wizardry explains my telepathy/
    Define the mastery or exemplify hypocrisy when constant philanthropy/
    Converts, consistent anarchy on the streets from a dying society after the tragedy then you write the autopsy/
    As I verbally implant accurate strategies as cybernetic technology in timid mentalities/
    Vividly enhancin the visionary’s of these amateur emcees like Virtual Reality/
    Oops! Lose circuitry, mental convulsions during psychotherapy this is shock therapy to the industry/
    Shakin ya up like epilepsy makin ya fall off directly like limbs infected wit leprosy/
    Since the beginning, I bring essential remedies, a supernatural delivery split the game like I’m a line of symmetry/ (special delivery!)
    Movin at undetected speeds, ya brain can’t conceive and think to make ya eyes blink/
    You couldn’t fuck wit me if I dropped these similes clean like soap in the penitentiary/
    Digest-or of techniques, Thermo-Nuclear physique Flame-on! Like Johnny Storm transform into a mythological minotaur/
    The Rap Predator Eatin lyricists raw like carnivores breaking down ya style, its manure!/
    So stick to the grass wit ya lax metaphors my mind explores/
    Strength in meditation the brain cells convergent, ultra-magnetize formin neutrons like the lions of voltron /
    I am Eons beyond any ciphering automaton transformer or decepticon/
    The Dark Shogun, The rea-son for the fall of Babylon/
    The second reign of Ghengis Khan, spreadin the pestilence beyond the Atlantic margin/
    Partin oceans wit seismic thoughts, the outbreak of havoc, distort ya life support for sport/
    Prime status like tips of obelisks when my harddrive of knowledge scrambles the circuits on Optimus/
    Cerebral genesis when ya head connects wit dialect the rap architect makin the beat electrify the chest like cardiac arrest/
    At my best under emotional stress fuck wit me? Try to flex ya skin aint spandex… /
    I spit spermicide rip thru dick-heads wearin masks like latex…grab that Kleenex…/
    Leavin more dismembered flesh in the cortex, then a mess from virgins after raw sex…/
    Yo Synopsist at it again pass the mic abolish ya fingerprints…Sayin ya managin to spit for hours on end. . ./
    But my sexual performance is irrelevant…my verbiage splits brick establishments/ (Kaioken times ten)!
    So much viagra my dick's chokin. . .Now I Nut between my rectum shittin from my mouth openin/
    The sultan of masculine from the abdomens fillin my lungs wit oxygen givin my tongue animation swellin the cerebellum segment/
    I intensify concepts in minds quicker than the retina magnifies images in eyes/
    Only the strong survive Code of the Jedi Samurai…like Iverson I cross-over enemy lines/
    My veins are clotted like knotted chains connected to a rotted brain with thoughts thought of as Brawlin rage/
    Climatic showdowns on mid-air planes makin the blood rain head scratchin I aggravate like ya got syphilis on the brain/
    On papyrus I optimize the wisdom of Confucius Lightning quick when I bestow bolts from Olympus/
    The Egyptian God Osiris, you cant Deciphering my hieroglyphics? Better off findin therapeutics for the T-virus//
    _________________

  2. #2
    SYNOPSIST
    Guest
    POST YA CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICSM YA'LL POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE. . .THANKS IN ADVANCE AIIGHT. . .ONE

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR.......... A PERSON WITH SOME KNOWLEDGE OF THE ILLIMINATION AND OSIRIANS THIS WAS PLACED WELL I LOVE THIS POST NO DOUBT.KNOWLEDGE IS A WEAPON YOU UTILIZE WELL HIT ME FOR A COLLAB IF YOU LIKE
    ORDO ABACHO(ORDER OUT OF KAOS) CLICK
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    DAMANI MIC MATITION
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    THE FAM IS LOCKED NO MORE APPLICATIONS PLEASE.






  4. #4
    •madd•Professor•
    Guest
    this was... bad dawg, seriously, your vocab was pretty good... except for the sounds and rhyming, unless you shit on the thesaurus and its pronounciation and expect people to know the shit you rhyming... then this was just like a essay, yeah, lack of logic was right, this is a piece of knowledge from the... whatever he said, no doubt with better wordplay, it could sound a hell of a lot better, maybe even flow, you had nice fillers, but what i was talking about earlier in this reply is... your end rhymes were shot, peace 'n' keep spitting


    signed,
    ~madd

  5. #5
    LaDy TrInItY
    Guest

    hey

    aight i liked this..but i aint gonna leave a long reply like everyone else...aint like that..(rather leave um wonderin haha)...nah ya vocab tight tho....i liked that....but this piece was good no matter what..much luv..God bless..1.

  6. #6
    RhetoriX
    Guest
    I think the vocab and knowledge in this was flawless, but it lacced the power and hard hitting lines it needed... It seemed like a battle verse without the punches and it had no substance... The flow was sturdy always working with a quicc flow, the syllables were matched, more multies and internal rhymes woulda made more rhythm... The vocab was iLL, knowledge words are obviously your strong point, and you showed through... Wordplay was aight, some similes and metaphors but it coulda come stronger in the punches and thats what I think you needed... Try spitting something with some substance, and it would push through... Keep spitting and elevating, you got mass potential, would wanna read something interesting though...

    Peez..

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