Love/Hate

[PhillyKat]

this is a collab that me and my 2 boys are doin. its called love hate. my boy carl and i do a love verse and our boy sam does a verse about how u cant trust a girl. here is my verse...

i wanna be with u ur the one that i want girl
you know i need you in my life
u know i need u
i want u to be my wife girl
i need u hear with me its obvious to see that we should be with eachother
in my arms is where i want you girl
in my heart is where i keep u for real girl
together we will live long
together we'll be strong
together with me and you
happiness will become so true
for real girl i need you (pause) i need you
your nothing like those other hoes
you dont even gotta blow me
i aint about that matta fact if u only wanna chat im cool with it (pause) iight
i love you babyi wanna have u as my only lady
for real come with me and sit down
so we can be happy and not frown yea!

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[PhillyKat]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164650

[PhillyKat]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164528

[Mistral]

Not a bad piece here man...Try working on your structure a little bit though...I think you over-used the word Girl a lot in your verse though but thats just me...maybe try to throw in some better rhymes cause some of the lines you just rhymed Girl over and over it seemed but i mean for a love piece i thought the emotion was there which is always a big thing for these kind of pieces ya know?...But yeah overall it wasnt that bad...decent read. Keep at it.

[INFAH_REDD]

www.rapbattles.com/forum/forumdisplay

[Young Bless]

Yo it was a real nice drop..u got a nice structure to ya flows..it makes it e-z to follow ya' spitz..it needed a lil more like some metas or maybe some multis..but otherwise a real dope piece..keep spittin dat fya! my ni99a...8/10

STAY UP HOMIEZ!

[PhillyKat]

uppin

[sefton blake]

i wasnt really feelin this one to be honest, but 12 posts in it's not too bad. Structure was weak and subsequently hard to read and get a feel for the flow. but rappin round a tpoic is def best and easiest way to start off....

i'll b lookin out for yer nxt drop

peace - sefton

[AbusivE]

^^ pretty much what they said... Structure was blahh, ur lines go from short to stretched, so work on that...could also use some work on ur vocab..emotion was good, but you need to work on the structure, multis, vocab, flow... keep droppin shit n you'll get there..

[PhillyKat]

uppin