my 1st

[$kEtChY]

The perfect music machine, mechanical being
The most lyrical, digital streams, the world has ever seen
The slugs rain from the sky, it’s like the angels want me to die
They push me harder, ‘cause they want me to try
A pit-bull off the leash, barking speech
Like a bull in a pit, lifting you off your feet
I feel like the world is mine, I could park in the street
Kick the worlds illest rhyme, police officers weep
People laying on the concrete, exhausted from heat
Watching John Kerry spit over some Michael Moore beats
This is a little something that my repertoire boasts
I’m almost, was in control of all coasts
I gave the fans rhymes to quote, they all dope
Total lyrical landslide. Give me all votes

[LFX]

Seems kind of abstract the way your scheme is but some of it doesnt seem to make a lot sense like "I could park in the street" <----seems like filler and theres actually a lot of it in this peice. The scheme was nice except at the end of the flow. It seemed just a little bit off. Keep droppin. I see alot of potential.

[Young BoE]

didn't like it at all. Agree'd with LFX. You need to get a flow going. The subject was kind of back and forth too.

[jimbean]

back to the drawing board on this one kid... right idea but you need a stronger flow...
keep workin harder...

[*DUO*]

I remember my first.......................her name was Jessica, lol

[Mistral]

1 open mic per day.