Lil' Homie (Innocence lost)

[Ack Scent]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162032
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162098

I used to have a Lil' Homie with everything in the world
Promise for a brighter future, talent and a wonderful girl,
Be he was corrupted by societies traumas
The money glory and power and so began the drama,
He hung with the "popularity", minorities inside of the school
Started usin enhanced, advanced drugs in an effort to be "cool",
But this kid was no fool he knew his body and mind were changin
Paranoia becomin more frequent as well as severe derangement,
Addiction beoming greater and filled pockets became empty
Went from muscular jock to weak filthy and shrimpy,
Simply he watched with eyes low and pupils dialated
As his feelings detiriorated and life was annahilated,
He filed later into the program of drug users anonymous
But no sooner did he join he began making more broken promises,
His lady left him after repeated attempts and took the children
Forced my Lil' Homie to jump from the 3rd floor of his apartment buildin...

i wish he was still livin but the consequences he suffered
And left two children, both boys under a homeless mother,
He lived his whole life under an illusion of popularity
And sex, drugs, and alcohol also ruined his posterity,
And still he never reached the level of fame that he sought
This is just another case of a persons innocence lost.....

[Omniscient]

Simply amazing man....showed lots of emotion and deepness in this piece....love da vocab u put in it...really good shit man....another good drop man but this was great to read...like the topic alot...keep it comin dogg

[Nikyle]

uppin for feedback....c'mon peeps drop a link and i'll get at urs..I just need some feed on this...plz

[Vikkie™]

it was nice....good job...had a nice concept true to life.....seems like somethin well nto seems somethin that does ahppen everyday...like i said before good job
what makes it really good is that you put ur mind to it and ur heart in it keep it up

[Nikyle]

Thanks dude....uppin for more feedback....and maybe even an Om nomination...but feedback mostly...

[Ack Scent]

uppin for more feedback c;mon now....leave a link and I'll get at ur stuff as well and return the favor...just leave me some feedback negative or positive...

[Kill.]

Damn cuz i only read two drops from and both of those were hot i especially like this one keep that shit up!

[Thrust]

this wasn't too bad. the approach you took on it i have seen many and many of times. just the story is old. not saying i didn't like it, it's just something that's been wrote about a lot. anyways, you did well. the flow was something that stood out to me, even though there was only a few multies n such, it just flowed real good with me. you didn't overuse vocab which is a big plus. and overall, the content wasn't too shabby, but could have been better. keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep improving.

[Nikyle]

Thanks for the feedback everyone...can somoene else pleas leave things that i need to improve on or something...plz

[warchild]

i liked this man it was deep, the structure was good the lyrics flowed well.
it was a bit short but i aint hating on it it was a dope verse.
hit up my last post.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162318

[Ack Scent]

Aight straight...uppin this folks....words son....

[jimbean]

the message was good i took me to the scene of the crime respect in well thought out drops... could of used a better topic though somthin refreshed... hit me back...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...49#post1942049

[Ack Scent]

Uppin for feedback...words son

[Ack Scent]

^^^Words son.....uppin this...

[Ack Scent]

What am i not loved in the OM anymore.... c'mon guys...uppin for feed...