lost in battle

[obseqious]

Delete

[Aashes]

this was an okay piece, not bad. I'll say try not to put too much emphasis on one thing. but like I said it was good

[reckless fire]

you use to many words if you look at it you could take out alot of words and it would still have the same meaning but i know what you saying all to well even if i explain you wouldnt understand i bet wat i im going on is harder than you so live your life to the full cuzz i cant if you think im joking im not for real i know wat your saying all to well i would end it but im a coward

[DthsMissingAngel]

Well done baby. This piece leaves me in thought. Wonderance of what is running through your mind. Partly knowing and the other understanding. The past is the past, yet some still live in it without a choice. There was deep emotion in this and some imagery that caught my eye. This piece drew me in at parts, yet pushed me away at times. I'm not really sure how to respond to the questions at the end. The structure makes it seem like a letter or a note, which made it work. I guess because I know the meaning behind this, it makes it more understandable. From the stranger's standpoint it would be that you're focusing on one thing, but in turn, you arent. Good job baby. We'll discuss it later. I liked it, it keeps me thinking. Keep up.

[obseqious]

alright, thank you to all who replyied, your commments are much apreciated. The whole thought process was meant to be more along the lines of wanting help, but not wanting to let anybody get close, hence not being able to be helped, it may make sense, it may not, thanks to all who reply........peace

[A.K.]

its nice i liked it but more emotion and it will be perfect i get that sometimes you just feel the urge to write cause of something trapped inside you
nice overall

[obseqious]

well thanks dude, feedack is always apreciated, i'm glad you get what i'm kinda trying to say....peace..........