Rules.
^Read & Good Luck..
Check Ins Due By Wednesday Midnight Eastern
Verses Due By Friday Midnight Eastern
Voting Ends Sunday Midnight Eastern
Rules.
^Read & Good Luck..
Check Ins Due By Wednesday Midnight Eastern
Verses Due By Friday Midnight Eastern
Voting Ends Sunday Midnight Eastern
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Last edited by Telekinetic; December 18th, 2004 at 03:17 PM
check...
14's straight...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...92#post1905992
Last edited by Revel; December 15th, 2004 at 02:42 PM
...PB...
Dont know how u a Champ, ya whole style's sad as fuck
realize that your bars are small & meaningless, after u atom up
you're weak son - yet u seem ta' tread wit eminance
ironic,
u think u've got grate lines, but i dont see a shred of evidence
kid you're inconsistent, i'll take out ya raps in a quick removal
& when i hit u wit the napalm, that aint just a slap of disapproval
u think coining phrases is essential? u'll be sent to the bottom
cuz u've got enough poorly worded bars, ta' fundamental problem
i could call u wack all i want, that doesnt mean u'll punch me harder
cuz face it, u couldnt raze eyebrows if u were a clumsy barber
your attempts at workin magic always fail....no bluffin jack
& next time u dissapeer, dont even worry bout ever comin back
this battle was every man for himself - until i pounded ya, foo
cuz now that my punches put u on ya back, the ref's countin on u
...post early...
...PB...
Mutha fucker start your engine…I make vets disappear
So watch me redline… an drop Rev like shifting gears
I’m the sandman slut… and that one bar was too steep
So I’ll just key four-an............. Singapore kid to sleep
Kid your goddamn trash… pathetic, so fuck you Revel
& I don’t have to live on a farm… to see I pasture level
You cant fuck with mine… I own the title to this craft
An call me Clinton… cause intern you’ll get the shaft
Any good idea you’ve had…ya wording has spoiled it
So I’ll piss out ya verse…just to show urine the toilet
I done beat half your crew… you just follow the theme
At least one had skill …your Mopar than the magazine
Ya not worthy of punches… when my wrists will own
Cus while trying to take my title, you metacarpal bone
Um... I thought this battle was decent. Tele focused a lil too much on wordplay, so it didn't all make sense in the view of dissing. I mnea, it made sense, but it wasn't coming out like a diss, even though it was wordplay.
Revel did a lil better in that aspect, having more of a balance. He was also a lil wittier, and more interesting.
Like I said, decent battle. It wasn't too exciting though.
Vote: Revel
Dont know how u a Champ, ya whole style's sad as fuck
realize that your bars are small & meaningless, after u atom up
kay.But next time try making a reference in your setup to something related to an atom.I don't see it.
you're weak son - yet u seem ta' tread wit eminance
ironic,
u think u've got grate lines, but i dont see a shred of evidence
this was nice..should of saved it for LLL or flipped to something that didn't involve that grate/great "wordplay".It would of been dope.
kid you're inconsistent, i'll take out ya raps in a quick removal
& when i hit u wit the napalm, that aint just a slap of disapproval
forced here.Nah palm..mmm
u think coining phrases is essential? u'll be sent to the bottom
cuz u've got enough poorly worded bars, ta' fundamental problem
nope just didn't like it.*shrugs*
i could call u wack all i want, that doesnt mean u'll punch me harder
cuz face it, u couldnt raze eyebrows if u were a clumsy barber
eh..NO
your attempts at workin magic always fail....no bluffin jack
& next time u dissapeer, dont even worry bout ever comin back
could of been better, your wording could of improved this maybe
this battle was every man for himself - until i pounded ya, foo
cuz now that my punches put u on ya back, the ref's countin on u
kay but NOT a closer.
Mutha fucker start your engine…I make vets disappear
So watch me redline… an drop Rev like shifting gears
mediocre
I’m the sandman slut… and that one bar was too steep
So I’ll just key four-an............. Singapore kid to sleep
force on Singapore
Kid your goddamn trash… pathetic, so fuck you Revel
& I don’t have to live on a farm… to see I pasture level
NEVER use a ure/your/you're line again.
Really the are more out than landmine lines
You cant fuck with mine… I own the title to this craft
An call me Clinton… cause intern you’ll get the shaft
you made this a bit too corny if you ask me..
Any good idea you’ve had…ya wording has spoiled it
So I’ll piss out ya verse…just to show urine the toilet
read the other ur/ure/your/you're line.Why did you use two anyway?
I done beat half your crew… you just follow the theme
At least one had skill …your Mopar than the magazine
"Mopar LIKE the magazine" imo would of worked better although like lines may be old it just would of helped
Ya not worthy of punches… when my wrists will own
Cus while trying to take my title, you metacarpal bone
clever but not hard
Nice battle here.If I am allowed to vote I say Revel takes it.Not easily because Telekinetic did have some nice ideas in there BUT I just liked Revel's verse a bit better.Both would make good LLL competitors (don't remember if Revel is still in).
One thing you might want to keep in mind.
I see you both like wordplay...it has been discussed wether wordplay can be effective or not & whatelse BUT there is one thing you two might want to reflect on.Wordplay should not go only one way.To make it easier you shouldn't use something like for instance "to show urine a toilet"..if I read that w/out spotting the wordplay:it doesn't make sense.Same thing with "you metacarpal bone".If I read it w/out wordplay I'd have to think you're calling your opponent in one of the goofiest ways in history.You want it to make sense w/ or w/out wordplay.Thats the catch.Even "grate lines"...I mean grate lines doesn't exists w/out the wordplay part.Now if you play on the word grate that has more than one meaning (instead of using it as grate/great) it would workout better but like it was used it can only go one way & fail to make sense if read w/out paying attention to the wordplay.
If you think this may sway in some way have Smoka edit/delete it.I just wanted to give an opinion.And w/ this I don't mean your ideas weren't clever they just maybe could of been more effective.No superior talk, no beef just an opinion.
-kap
*knows I'll get clowned for this*
*shrugs*
Wewillfuckyouup.......er.
-me & my man Sav get the bitches quick
inconsiderate conglomerate, I got the sickest click
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^ Why wouldent your vote count?
Anyway... thanks for all the feedback.
I still like me verse better though...of course.
But I respect your opinion.
Ohh... and I still like my landmine line
Well this battle was pretty close from the first read, so ill have to break it down:
Dont know how u a Champ, ya whole style's sad as fuck
realize that your bars are small & meaningless, after u atom up
-decent
you're weak son - yet u seem ta' tread wit eminance
ironic,
u think u've got grate lines, but i dont see a shred of evidence
-nice
kid you're inconsistent, i'll take out ya raps in a quick removal
& when i hit u wit the napalm, that aint just a slap of disapproval
-decent
u think coining phrases is essential? u'll be sent to the bottom
cuz u've got enough poorly worded bars, ta' fundamental problem
ha, iiight
i could call u wack all i want, that doesnt mean u'll punch me harder
cuz face it, u couldnt raze eyebrows if u were a clumsy barber
not really feelin this, i get what ur sayin...but regular barbers arch eyebrows anyhow, so sayin a clumbsy barber really isnt makin it hard hittin, IDK, jus wasnt feelin this all like that
your attempts at workin magic always fail....no bluffin jack
& next time u dissapeer, dont even worry bout ever comin back
-would of hit harder, if it was worded better, but decent
this battle was every man for himself - until i pounded ya, foo
cuz now that my punches put u on ya back, the ref's countin on u
not a great way to close, but decent
Mutha fucker start your engine…I make vets disappear
So watch me redline… an drop Rev like shifting gears
ok start
I’m the sandman slut… and that one bar was too steep
So I’ll just key four-an............. Singapore kid to sleep
decent, not really feelin the singapore part though
Kid your goddamn trash… pathetic, so fuck you Revel
& I don’t have to live on a farm… to see I pasture level
-iiiight
You cant fuck with mine… I own the title to this craft
An call me Clinton… cause intern you’ll get the shaft
-nah, not feelin this
Any good idea you’ve had…ya wording has spoiled it
So I’ll piss out ya verse…just to show urine the toilet
-Naw, ive seen alot of 'urine' wordplay, jus tired of it, and this one was as good as some of the others
I done beat half your crew… you just follow the theme
At least one had skill …your Mopar than the magazine
iiiight
Ya not worthy of punches… when my wrists will own
Cus while trying to take my title, you metacarpal bone
ha, witty, it didnt hit all that hard, but it was ok
Iiiight in this system, nice=+5: good=+4: iiight=+3 Ok=+2: Decent = +1. Nah-fuk dat
Revels verse=+12
Telekenetic=+11
This was dayum, close, and coulda went either way, this battle coulda have been takin by jus one good punch. Both of u guys love wordplay, i do too
Artificial Intelligence
Vote!
i honestly thought tele took it.. witier and more enjoyable to read.. i coudnt see how revel's getting the votes.. tele's wordplay wasnt exactly played.. his opener wasnt bad, but revel just didnt really impress me to be honest..
v/tele.
Revel:
Dont know how u a Champ, ya whole style's sad as fuck
realize that your bars are small & meaningless, after u atom up
Nice..good wordplay and punch...but the setup was weak
you're weak son - yet u seem ta' tread wit eminance
ironic,
u think u've got grate lines, but i dont see a shred of evidence
seen the concept before..ok punch
kid you're inconsistent, i'll take out ya raps in a quick removal
& when i hit u wit the napalm, that aint just a slap of disapproval
lmao...nice wordplay...nice punch
u think coining phrases is essential? u'll be sent to the bottom
cuz u've got enough poorly worded bars, ta' fundamental problem
again good wordplay..a little forced tho, could be worded better
i could call u wack all i want, that doesnt mean u'll punch me harder
cuz face it, u couldnt raze eyebrows if u were a clumsy barber
Good
your attempts at workin magic always fail....no bluffin jack
& next time u dissapeer, dont even worry bout ever comin back
nice wordplay on the song...punch is meh tho
this battle was every man for himself - until i pounded ya, foo
cuz now that my punches put u on ya back, the ref's countin on u
not feeling this
Telikenetic:
Mutha fucker start your engine…I make vets disappear
So watch me redline… an drop Rev like shifting gears
Seen the conept before but...good wordplay and personal and punch
I’m the sandman slut… and that one bar was too steep
So I’ll just key four-an............. Singapore kid to sleep
Dope....punch of the week here...I dun think most people got that "Four-an = foreign"
Kid your goddamn trash… pathetic, so fuck you Revel
& I don’t have to live on a farm… to see I pasture level
concept has been used before...but it was nicely flipped...good punch and wordplay
You cant fuck with mine… I own the title to this craft
An call me Clinton… cause intern you’ll get the shaft
lol nice
Any good idea you’ve had…ya wording has spoiled it
So I’ll piss out ya verse…just to show urine the toilet
Seen the urine line used before..but this was good…nice punch
I done beat half your crew… you just follow the theme
At least one had skill …your Mopar than the magazine
Decent…wordplay is a bit forced
Ya not worthy of punches… when my wrists will own
Cus while trying to take my title, you metacarpal bone
nice wordplay...not a great punch tho
Like kapitolins stated...to have dope wordplay..the line has to make sense without the wordplay....or else it is "forced wordplay". Anyway
Vote=Tele for mor consustency and harder punches overall
A few achievements here and there
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I thought this was really close. A good verse dropped by both but I was feelin a few more of Revel's bars. This was really hard to decide on because both came pretty strong and both were pretty consistent but I think that some of revel's were hitting harder. Liked the Shred, grate line and the fundamental but i didnt like the napalm line. Tele had the singapore punch which i liked and the pasture one. As I said it was close but...
Vote - Revel
...The Ghostface Killllllaaaaaahhhhhhhh
This was a nice battle, and both spots have virgin records.
But Revel's cherry got poped.
The verses were nice and i like alot of punches you both threw.
These stood out.
could call u wack all i want, that doesnt mean u'll punch me harder
cuz face it, u couldnt raze eyebrows if u were a clumsy barber
-
Mutha fucker start your engine…I make vets disappear
So watch me redline… an drop Rev like shifting gears
I’m the sandman slut… and that one bar was too steep
So I’ll just key four-an............. Singapore kid to sleep
nice, that opener set it off right there. good verse.
vote-tel
Thanks for voting people.
I think that makes it 4 to 3.
Revel is up one. If all votes stand.
GL.
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